Woah nerves

And the nerves are growing. I'm about 70 days out from taking a plane trip to start an adventure and I'm starting to get more petrified than the trees near the painted desert... (dad joke anyone?).

All I can think about is all the things that could go wrong and letting my own bothersome, worrisome side come out. I think its just the fear of the unknown. I felt like I had researched this program indepth but every time i turn around I'm learning new things that scare me.

I'm nervous about meeting all these new people and being awkward and shy.

I'm nervous about working out in front of people who are obviously more in shape than I.

I'm nervous about flying alone and getting lost in the airport or being the last one to campus and having missed everything.

I'm definitely number one nervous about not being good enough.

BUT

I am excited for routine that is more than getting up, work, going home.

I'm pumped for serving other people.

I'm thrilled about getting to meet all these new people and make new friends.

I'm jazzed about seeing part of the country I've never been (I hope).

And I'm hoping to gain a sense of self-accountability.

I wonder how everyone else feels.....

A few things at *home* i'll miss.

Sorry for my absence! I didn't realize for today that it had really been so long since I had sat down and immersed myself in the web of internet interests. I've been working a lot! Tonight I picked up my room. I tend to end up with clothes strewn everywhere. I'm somewhat of a hurricane in the mornings. Anyway...tonight I picked up a few things in my room and was looking around athinking about how far my room has come since I moved in at age 5 and how much I'm going to miss it when I head off to Cali. So I thought I'd share a few of my favorite things. My room is very eclectic and very discombobulated but its also full of treasures.

I got my outlet covers off etsy, they instantly made my favorite things list. Amanda at TackledandShackled was fabulous!

I absolutely love them. They ad so much character to my room. I for somereason am especially infatuated with the red coloring on the corner. I think it looks good against my brown walls.

I have a few other favorite things in my room that I thought I'd share too!

I was at the flea in Sioux City with my favorite my best friend Chris and our good friend Denise and I found this fella! This is probably my very most treasured find. I found a table cloth that matches the shade fabric to a t at another stall. I picked up both for only 40. A small perk was that it came with the lightbulb! woot! lol It waited patiently all last summer with my roommate denise and then got to come out and grace my desk with its beauty all year. I have a tendency to leave the lamp on so the shade needs a little regluing action but its still rather exquisite. At least to me!

If you weren't instantly drawn to the vase don't be discouraged neither was I. In fact I was the one convincing mom to throw it out. But it started calling my name...well screaming it. Something like this can't be quiet. It's been with me now for 2 years and has become one of my favorite unique peices. It has so much loud personality (like me I know). I had fake lillies in it while I was at school but the top of the picture is the ceiling so right now she sits empty but still vibrant and gorgeous.

Well I need to hit the hay but I have music excitments to share as well as a few etsy finds I'm dreaming about so stay tuned!

beginning to feel it

So just in the last week I realized I'm beginning to feel the impending move.

Today is 90 days til I leave. I haven't worked out in three weeks, I've been shoving my face full of EVERYTHING and I've been binge shopping...several times. I have no money, lots of extra pounds and an overwhelming feeling of unpreparedness. I know I have 90 days but I SUCK at being accountable to myself.

I have also begun to realize a few things I am going to miss by going away. For instance I WILL hitchhike across the country with Jeepers Creeper to get home for Christmas. Christmas is HUGE deal to my family and the most important time of year for me because of this. I refuse to miss it. I took otu a place in my budget to add plane ticket home for christmas. But there are some things that I can't be back for.......

1) PIcking out the tree - After thanksgiving every year my family of five+my aunts family of five+ my grandma go to the Howell Tree farm to pick out our Christmas tree. We spend a couple hours running around finding and fighting over the perfect tree. We have snowball fights (if there is snow) and play hide and seek with Jenni's girls. I won't be here for this next year. When I come home for christmas the "perfect" christmas tree will be here and decorated.

2) Decorating the tree - my family is of the tradition of exchaning christmas ornaments and then putting them on the tree together. My grandma gives them to the grandkids and we kids give one to mom. I won't be here for any of this. Who will put the ornaments on the tree? Will they be up when I get into town, or will they just be left off?

3) Making Lefsa -My family is very norweigian and we still make lefsa. For the past few years Emily, Mom, Grandma, Jenni and I have gotten together and made lefsa. There is dueling with the lefsa sticks and fighting with potatoes and lots of baking and teasing. This family lady time is always good for a barrel of laughs and lefsa!

4) Birthdays - these aren't really a big deal in of themselves BUT the idea of yet another year going by where I'm not necessarily around will pass. When I come home Audrey will surely be talking in full sentences and almost two! Emily will be spending her 15th year without me and my brother will be turning 13! Also, we're adding to the family. When these kids get adopted in I won't be here to meet them or bond with them. I'll have a family that doesn't know me at all.

I understand this is all rather depressing and sad; most assuredly these are the kinds of things my parents are thinking of when they dread/resent me leaving. But I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is what I want to do and this is where I'm being led to go. It's just that suddenly I'm thinking of all these things at once. This is bound to happen sooner or later I suppose. Whether I moved away intentionally or just happened to not be around it was bound to happen.

Growing up is LAME.

There is some crazy talent out there

I know I've been talking non-stop about Etsy but when was the last time you found something that was this gorgeous, perfect and amazing? Ya know, when you find that movie you want to watch over and over again, or the song you hear on the radio and you immediately buy the cd or download and listen to over and over again. Thats how I feel about this website.

After staying on the site until 130 this morning and then immediately getitng up and getting on, I've realized I have EXTREME talent envy. Sure I write, but thats not something I am being like published for (or very confident in) but even then these are people who are artistic and creative (like me) who are able to create and market these things. How did they learn these things?

FebystanDesigns

There are so many beautiful creations on here. How do they get started? I want in! I want to create this cute things that accent and high light a look or a color. Even like my lightswitch covers - I could do things like that. But at the same time there are so many people thrifting.

Store / Blog

Where are they going to find this stuff? Are there tips or hints or anything? I'm sure its very time intensive. Also it's hard to find anything 'vintage' thats going to be beyond a small or medium. I just really dig this stuff, but also the vintage things that these very talented people are finding. For instance ArtsandBooksShop has vintage books, for cheap. HELLO? I'm in love! A few months ago at a flea market I found a 1929 copy of All Quiet On the Western Front. If any of you are book junkies you would know that was the first year it was printed Not only is it a first print edition it also has a note inside from a father to his child. The note is dated June 13, 2009. I have a few other gems lying around my room.

I've also seen lots of jewelry, appliances and miscellaneous things. I can't wait to get home and start looking around for some sweet things! I found a website thats a list of places to go in DSM for this purpose. So before I leave for California I plan on spending lots of time at these places and the east village. It's kinda like being in sioux city where I first fell in love with fleaing.

Today's Etsy's Finds

Today's online thrifiting and antiquing led me to the foundation that although I have a lot of things I want I have TWO that are surging through my blood. You may remember a few posts ago when I noted my style as record player and typewriter. I think I may start collecting functional typewriters! I can liter them throughout my library (eventually..whenI have one.)


I found this etsy site and went straight to heaven. Maybe I won't buy a laptop, maybe I'll be this instead.


Also I was browsing around on Etsy and came across a lovely individual and some AMAZING trinkets at TackledandShackled. For instance, there are outlet covers that are covered in dictionary pages from 1946. On the site there were only 2 outlet covers, 2 outlet and a light switch and light switch covers. In my room I have 2 2outlets and 1 four outlet. I sent her a quick email asking her about the 4outlet cover. She quickly replied that she would be more than willing to not only make a 4 outlet cover for me but also let me pick the topic of the dictionary pages! Wow!

While I suppose I could mess around and maybe create a similiar product on my own, I feel much better supporting someone who has already gotten on their way. Afterall, if I wanted to start channeling my artist ability to something actually creative I'd hope someone would buy from me!





I also found a beautiful framed page/picture that I think will go stunningly with my soon to be coming outlet covers.

I also spent a large portion of the day looking at bookends. My room is deliciously brown with LOTS of bookshelves. Some awesome bookends would be great.

I also craigslisted typewriters and found one (although not as 'Pretty' as the ones above); it was considerably cheaper. I emailed about it, only to find out that not only will I be going to look at one next week, the individual selling it was someone I went to elementary school with. She moved to the coast and then moved back and now I'm buying a typewriter. Small world!

stumbling into a culture wonderland.

Mooza Design

Since I've started following daydreamlilly I seem to have fallen into this beautiful Niche of aesthetically pleasing clothing, designers, apartment furnishings and lifestyles. I'm hopping from one blog to another completely enveloped in this indie, folk, organic, natural, feminine and romantic world that in central IA is hard to find. For instance I've been spending a lot of time on Etsy and various blogs advertised by Daydream Lilly. I have found SO many things that I love.
I was slightly discouraged in the idea that most of the things I am looking at are in Europe and especially Australia. I suppose if I was on a coast I would find more of these things than simply Midwest Ia. Etsy does have a search feature though so I quick typed in Iowa and found a few things. If you meander over to Etsy check out 'eliwil" and "loreliekaydesigns"





Now don't take this as that there is none of these cute boutiques and home designers around here. I just haven't quite fallen into a crowd where I would find this. I think I need to spend more time in the East Village. Come to Des Moines and check it out!





Check out this link to see more of my shopping desires!

spicing up my room.

When asked to describe my decorating style all I can think of is typewriters and record players. Unfortunately I have neither of these. Right now my walls are empty and my room really lacks a certain FLAIR. This is because I am broke, living in a tiny room at my parents, and while they JOKE about kicking me out for more babies I'm very concerned about the truth behind that.

I really long for the ability to decorate a room, a place, a space to the fullest extent of me. I stumbled across this blog and instantly crooned at its beauty. Even the blog itself has a sense of feminine vintage beauty. I love it.

While I would love someone to just come in and do all this decorating, I would also love to spend weekends searching flea markets, used book stores, antique malls to find the perfect things. One place I love to look for new "vintage" looking things is Urban Outfitters. For instance I love these hooks.

I have an entry way to my room. With stairs and a landing. I think either of these would look awesome. i'm not quite sure about the brass on the knob but its definitely my favorite. I also really like these; the link is necessary because I like the assortment of colors.

I currently have four pictures to go up on my wall. I'm waiting for them to be put up but another thing slowing me down is that I don't feel like they mesh. I absolutely LOVE all of them but they don't really go with each other. My room is so small right now that I'm afraid they would clash. Also I'm not sure I have the wall space without making things look crowded. I definitely need advice here.

Also my headboard is right below my window. Then on both sides of my bed are matching nightstands and lamps. These are probably the favorite part of my room. I am thinking of getting longer curtains that I can hook on the outside of my headboard/window. The wall my window is on is a camel color (along with two other walls then the wall to the left is a dark chocolate brown. My quilt is dark brown as well.

Does the curtain knob look familiar?! I would love to do a punch of pattern and vibrant color but two of my pillowcases are pink and two are white with chocolate, camel and pink polka dots. While I love my curtain bedset if I'm redoing my room I think I would like something a little more abstract. I'm also getting tired of FLAT quilts in bed instead of fluffy comforters. While I typically like UO's bedding selection right now I think they are too busy for me. I really like these pillowsets though.

UO also has a lot of cute DIY stuff. They have sewing kits, some CUTE buttons and fabric. Definitely want to be that sort of trendy. I think its much classier than the other, although not as easy.

They do have a typewriter laptop skin, which may have to suffice until my baby appears or I replace her.

felt a little creative

lets be friends =)

This weekend was the first time in a long time where I have been completely surrounded by friends and just completely at peace. I watched the sun rise two mornings in a row and one night sat around a fire until AFTER the sun came up. It's a shame I did college the way I did otherwise I think I would have more of these nights.

The reason I'm posting this on my NCCC blog comes down to partially why I'm doing this and also my biggest concern. I enjoy meeting new people. I enjoy learning about their experiences, opinions and ideas. I'm hoping that this program will help me connect with people from a variety of places and give me more days/nights like I had this weekend. I'm really hoping that I can connect/bond/relate to some of the other corpsmen and consequently watch the sun rise, travel to see them and with them. I feel so confined here and limited on my options due to quiet a few burned bridges. I'm very excited to be around people and do things like that. I know how busy I'm going to be and how friction can grow in a lot of these situations as well but I'm really hoping that not only will I be getting to help other people but also form lasting friendships.

I kind of feel like I'm putting out a personal ad for friends. I am looking for.... KIDDING!

Still not nervous!