So I leave for Cali in 65 days and a lot has happen.
1) My commitment has been tested - recently I realized that this isn't the sort of responsible mature thing that Kristina Raine Sturm does. I graduated college in three years because it was financially responsible. I've never once taken a spontaneous trip anywhere. Even when I was in London I planned everything and then never went out at night and really didn't do much besides touristy things. Now here I am, scrapped the responsible mature idea of getting a job and settling down and now I'm running off to Cali. Sure I can say that they are paying off a 1/4 of my small student loans, and I'm gaining valuable leadership skills and helping a lot of people in need. Sure these are responsible mature thoughts but lingering heavily is my need to get away from all I've ever known, to make it on my own, to meet new people and to start over. I am kind of thinking of it as a second chance for the college fresh start. Anyway, a couple days ago the woman I student taught with text me to ask me if I would be interested in a long term sub position in her department. When it was all said in done they were discussing the opportunity for me to actually be hired on as more than a long term sub and negotiating benefits and salary. So here I sat the mature responsible job and settling (even though I loathe sioux city) or running off on a notion.... still leaving for cali in 65 days. I do miss teaching a lot. I'm so sad that I'm not preparng a classroom and reading new curriculum and I'm ver scared about how I'll find a job next year while I'm still in Cali during the prime teacher hiring phase but God will provide right?
2) The shoe dilemna - Essentially I'm moving- like moving into college, like moving into a new place; however, I can only take the 50lbs allotted to my one check bag. I have to bring a set of dishes, sheets ontop of living things and clothes. I wont be home til christmas (hopefully please feel free to donote to the bring kris home for christmas fund) so I need a variety of seasonal clothes. I dont know what part of the country I'll be in either so again, needs a variety of clothes. I love variety so how do i pick between my dresses, my skirts, my jeans, my shorts, my shirts, my sweaters, my jackets, scarves, gloves, hats, what?!?! And there are shoes... we have khakis and black pants which dictates brown and black heels (we know how I love my heels) BUT if I got out I would like my splash of color shoes like my red ones 
and purple ones and what about my beloved faux snakeskin heels? I know this sounds silly but as I psychoanalyze myself I realize what I'm really afraid of leaving behind. These things make me feel sexy, and in control and are often the root of many compliments. Many of my students were constantly in awe of my shoes and I even had a few girls that bought bright colored heels just to show me because they remind them of me and my 'style.' What if I get there and Im' out of place? I've never been in a big city. I've never been on a bus or really without my car. Simple things like going to buy detergent and other necessities I'll pry need to purchase right away seems very overwhelming for me. And what if I get there and I don't have the right shoes? What if I'm not the right shoe?
