driving west to the sunset

Thursday night Jennifer and I met t Grandmamas at six to begin our trip. I'd be lying if I said I left confidently. I got. Little hysterical about missing things and people; I have no clear plans for my life in elven months. I just kept telling mom I didn't want to leave. I drove away w Emily, Mom and the babies waving and I cried all the way to grandmas.

Once we got on the road I managed to calm down. I got a call from Mike Coleman as I was filling w gas...our last stop in Des Moines, it was nice. we drove through the night - took a two hour nap just outside Cheyenne in the car at a gas station. I slept a little longer she drove. We made it to Salt lake around eleven...but it felt so much later. We drove around, shopped nd visited historic salt lake sites. We got to our campground with Little Ceasers pizza around 6 then showere nd rerganized the car. We put everything from the trunk and backseat into the front seat and laid the back seat down to sleep. It is a Chevy cobalt two door so ita not like a car where there is a lot of room. We woke up at six and hit the road. Were about an hour from the Hoover damn and thirty miles outside Vegas. So far so good.

Here are some highlights
-wearing cake mustaches through Wyoming
-creepy little America

-the outdoor "showers" at antelope island
-lots of laughing

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Oh, the places you'll go.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about dreams - not the dreams which visit at night but rather the dreams where I spend most of my days. I've always been a dreamer. Dad and I used to joke about how he never had to tell me to keep my head up and my dreams high because I'm never anywhere but there. Starting in kindergarten, I began to dream of being a teacher. I wanted to wear the heels, the pencil skirts, sit on my desk and talk to a class full of students. I want to have books lining the walls, and students who come in during their free periods because I make a difference to them. Then I had that as a student teacher. It was AMAZING. The first day I stood in front of "my" students, I had never felt so perfect anywhere. 

 

In high school, I had made a "bucket list" (although it was before the bucket list time). On this bucket list were things that I wanted to have '(69 SS Chevelle), places I wanted to go (Prague), and things I wanted to see (the oceans); however, it also included things like falling in love, getting married, a beautiful farm house with a barn and a tire swing. Why did I want these things? Why were these things my dreams? Have my dreams changed? 

After taking a year off from my lifelong dreams, I've begun to realize there are many I've done that I never thought I'd do. There are things I never though I could do. In the dwindling hours before departing for Americorps part deuce, I've begun trying to asses my dreams and define new ones and old ones. These are things, I feel I can accomplish and I will accomplish, I hope. I'm going to include a small list here of things that I feel are mostly tangible, in the respect that they do not involve emotions or other people. 

• visit all 50 states (in one week I'll be at 29)
• best music festivals in the country (Jazzfest, Cochella, Bonnaroo, Sasquatch)
• burning man
• Peace Corps
• Travel Europe (Prague, Vienna, Austria, Italy, Rome)
• Brazil
• Australia
• Open a Youth Shelter/Residence/Charter School
• Scuba Dive
• Learn ASL
• Photography (.35mm) + dark room development
• Hot Air Balloon Ride
• Learn ASL
• Teach, Teach Teach
• Start an inner city teacher placement program

 

I've got the work blues, americors seems to have really crushed my stamina for monotony. I started watching the office. And went to the library. Only now I'm watching TV instead of reading - disgraceful! I spent all weekend with KT and Jenni.. Jen and I started and finished most of our road trip planning. We leave in none days! Ah! saturday I spent six hours at blank park zoo...omg how we managed to spend six hours there was beyond me but we did it and I had fun with the babies and the family.

Today was probably one of the best days I've had since returning home. It started raining almost immediately this morning and filled Iowa was a mildly cool dampness. The raindrops were the perfect temperature. I stood in the middle of the road with my hands up spinning, green skirt flowing up like an umbrella for my feet, my face turned up and being splashed by the rain. LOVE. To. make it even greater today it was the Tegan and Sara concert! I bailed work early to get KT. We went to hu hot, went to the mall and then went to a great concert! sooo good. Except for the crowd - how disrespectful to spend the entire concert talking about how hot T+S are or the crowd battle over who they love more. Its dumb.

Now here I am, sitting under the canopy at Kts. The crickets and locusts are playing their own set in the dark. Its cool enough to be in leggings and a hoodie. I love it. Plus I'm having great convo with kt. I love my bestie. I love today.
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Let me come home, home is wherever I'm with you...

Day 12 - Can you even believe I've already been home 12 days? Has it really already been ten days since I've seen, hugged or tackled any single member of Gold 1? I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. It feels good to be home. I've missed my family and my house but a lot of changes have been boiling in the Sturm house and it's not quite the family or the home I left. For instance, I'm sharing a room with my darling sister Emily...which is fine however, I have my clothes under my bed just like I have for ten months. Is this just Round 5 being sponsored by The Sturm Family in cooperation with The Edge Pro, Inc?


I have also bought a car! woo go me! its a 2009 Chevy cobalt lt coupe. I fell in love with a pontiac g6 gt which was in my price range and tricked out, but the guy lied to my dad and I and then was a dick so we went else where. It's nice to have a car that has A/C and runs well, but this also means car payments for the next five years and in theory also happens to mean most likely no Peace Corps next year. I am already freaking out about next year but trying to remain calm.

I really have not quite adjusted to being home yet. I was fortunate to become great friends (at least I feel like) my eight roommates over the last ten months; it is so discomforting to be living without them. Not only was there usually something to do, not doing something was also something to do. I had more fun doing absolutely nothing with them than I have had doing things with a ton of other people. Cooking dinner alone is a bummer. Washing dishes alone is a bummer. Laying in silence in the dark is a bummer. I talk to sophie every single day and I facebook Sara about everyday and JFB has been on facebook a lot. Yasha and I were talking more frequently thanks to MSN but he's now left the country and who knows if and when we'll talk. I've said a couple things to Stephen and only text with Denise once. I miss them, but I know most of them are extremely happy to be back to the 'real world' and Americorps was all just a dream. And it is beginning to feel that way.

However, I get to go back. Jen and I are working on the "road trip" although nearly not as planned as she would like. Then I can visit Sophie in LA, hang out with Paula in McClellan and start an adventure all over again. I'm getting really antsy at home, luckily for me there have been thunderstorms every single night....PTB!