Friday, December 03, 2010

Gold Six...in North Bend, WA...with Mountain to Sound?!?!?!?!

Well it is that time of the round when I get to hear what my next project is! Then I get to do some sort of fun reveal! Since Team Leader Training (TLT) I've been thinking about doing a game of clue. I didn't do it first round because I wasn't sure it was the most suitable to get my team excited for their first round project, so when I got the phone call from my Unit Leader (UL) and I learned how AWESOME round 2 was going to be. I knew I could do clue! I changed all the rooms to different cities and states and turned the weapons to different projects. Lauren just kept screaming with excitement the whole time and by a complete fluke, Ron happened to guess the right one within the first 15 minutes of the game. I was kind of crushed they had figured it out. There was MUCH screaming and hugging when they heard that we will be living in North Bend, WA and working with Mountain to Sound Greenway.  Then, the team got an even bigger surprise when they leanred that it was a two team project and green five (my roomie laura's team) would be working and living with us!!! The team immediately started googling the area and was instantly in awe of the absolute gorgeousness of the area. We'll be approximately 30 miles from Seattle (which unfortunately is outside the 25 mile free travel range but easily bus-sable).  As of right now it looks like we'll be staying at Valley Camp in a lodge, possibly this one. I am super excited to be returning to Seattle. I fell completely in love with it when I was there last year from June-July and it will be great to see it in Jan-Feb. I am excited about the snow and the cold! And the team is pumped about the weeding, trail building and nursery work plus all of the amazing hiking trails and views.  For instance, the Mountain to Sound Greenway itself will be breathtaking, but also Snoqualmie Falls

The project is going incredibly well. Without boring you, the students all have "essential assignments" in at least English. If they fail the first time around, the student is referred to the learning center where he/she works on them with the tutors (us+uc davis)! Eventually these papers get finished and are re-graded. If the student then passes they are in the clear, if they fail its summer school. 9th graders have 4 or 5 essential assignments and the 10th graders have 3 or four. This week we have been helping a lot of students to actually FINISH and turn in their papers. It feels awesome. Plus the team is getting really attached to certain students and knows some of these stories inside out. 

I've been working with a lot of Jr Lit students. They were reading the Jungle (one of my favorite books) so I was all over that...very excitedly. Obviously most kids haven't read it, so we ended up having like mini-story time where i would reiterate the plot and what was happening. It started with me telling the only regular student I had, and then all of a sudden six other students and some tutors were leaning over to hear. haha. It's such a good book! We also did some poetry explication with the JR Lit kids. Then I also helped with college entrance prompts. I miss having a classroom. I still LOVE that moment when you're explaining papers to a student and the "get it." Watching that light bulb flick on is the BEST thing in the world. 

While the team wrapped up their second to last full week at Woodland and Pioneer, Katie, Kyle and I were off to the forest to learn to chainsaw! This year every team should have at least three members certified in chainsawing. Today I just did some basic brush clearing and bucking a log, tomorrow I'll pry fell a tree. Go me! Here's a picture of Kyle, getting things done!


The team has also been doing a lot of Independent Service Projects (isps) since we're on campus. Here are a few pictures from that! These ones are all from our morning with Old City Cemetery. Such an interesting and beautiful place. I love cemeteries...

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Daycation!

Americorps has been exhausting. While, I am not a person who normally needs a lot of sleep (i lived on 4-5 hours a night during college and last year) this year has left me completely bed-ridden on most friday night to saturday nights. Without a day of complete rest I seem to be incapable of even pulling my tiny hiney out of the bed. This means that most saturdays are in bed and sundays are done doing work. This leaves no time for play! And if you know me, or any other NCCC member you know how important play is.

Thanksgiving break however gave me a sweet break. The schools in Sacramento take the entire week off so this provides most in school teams the chance to do "Interim Projects." These are just filler projects, usually with one day sponsors who don't really have the sustainable work for an entire team. There are three teams on campus right now - the other two teams joined some of the other on campus teams to work with the Sacramento Food Bank in preparation for Thanksgiving and their Run to Feed the Hungry. But there was also the opportunity to work with Weed Warriors and Sacramento Parks and Rec. Gold Six however was offered an interim project by the Woodland Unified District office...to work in their WAREHOUSE of TEXTBOOKS!!!. Okay I'm a nerd that this excited me but it did. For three days we reshelved, sorted and inventoried over 5000 textbooks. It looked awesome by the time we left.

Wednesday Night I helped one of the Support Team Leaders (STL) prep for the feast on campus and then drove out to Rio Vista to spend Thanksgiving with one of my CMs families. It was really nice to be in a house with a family, but it was a little weird to not be with mine. Weirder than last year. I missed home last year but felt like I was where I needed to be. I felt oddly out of place and missing home this year. I can't decide if it's the role of a TL or that this is now my second thanksgiving in a row. 

Friday I spent my day in bed. Laura, my roomie, does the same thing. I did a little shopping even though I shouldn't have...but what's new. Laura and I went out for lunch and during lunch, I voiced my desire to take a daycation and she voiced how she had never been to San Francisco. In a heartbeat we decided to spend saturday in San Fran. :)

I still love san francisco the way I loved it the first time, and the second time I was there. I don't know that I could live that far from home, or without the snow but if I had to live somewhere else it would pry be there. We had absolutely no agenda, except to see China Town...which we ended up not seeing. We spent 6 hours walking from about Pier 15 to Pier 39 to Fisherman's wharf, to Ghiradelli Square to Chrissy Field and the Presidio. Laura was such a nerd about seeing Alcatraz and the Golden Gate and I loved it. We headed up to the Haight (which I LOVE) to meet two other TL's for dinner at this great noodle place.

I got very nostalgic for christmas and pensive for the future on the drive back down to our car. There were so many Christmas Trees overlooking the city from their Bay windows. It was just so dang picteresque. Then we had to come back. Lol.

Today was a day of Paperwork and tomorrow back to the program at 530 AM...not so excited.



Only two more weeks of this project and 20 days til I get to go home for Christmas. Thank Goodness!

Monday, November 15, 2010

There's no place like home

Home is where the heart is and it's definitely here. I took this picture last winter when I finally got to come home for Christmas. Once November 1 hits I become obsessed and nostalgic about Christmas and it KILLS me to not be home. I get lost in the grocery store smelling nutmeg and Cinnamon and looking at holiday baking items and foods and decorations. Every new piece of clothing I buy is a deep christmas shade of red. I think I could give Mrs. Clause a run for her money in the Christmas spirit department. I also miss home a ton. At home, the day after thanksgiving my family picks out a christmas tree. We run through the trees and throw snowballs, play hide and seek and pick out the best tree at all. They are never big enough for me, small enough for dad, or full enough fo rmom, but eventually we pick one out that everyone loves. Then we wait a few weeks and have it delivered. Everyone year for my whole life my grandma gives the kids christmas ornaments and dad gives mom one. So are tree is pretty burdened by the weight of all of these years but we still proudly display them (even if we have to wire the tree to the wall..again).

Things are a different however in Americorps. So for any current future or past NCCC members here is my "how to have an Ameri-holiday."

1. You need a tree. You need a very small, cheap tree. How does a lowly, poor, desperate NCCC team get a tree? Individual Service Projects (Isp)! A lot of churches/community centers have Christmas Tree Sales. They often times can use young bodies to help lug around trees, reorganize and tie them ontop of cars. Usually, if a team comes in, works a lot of hours and is charming as can be...the church doesn't mind parting with a small 2 or 3 foot tree. Also if you're feeling REALLY crafting, you can snag some of the tree-trimmings that are left laying around and make your own wreath. After you've charmed your team into a tree you need a stand. The dollar stores often have cheapy tree stands...or you can do like I've done in the past and use the kitchen kit stock pot!

If this does not work. Draw a tree! Get some paper and draw a tree on it and tape it to your wall. It doesn't have the same 3D affect, but in the name of christmas spirit and the ache of being away from the holidays this can still help!

2. Decorations! These can be done in several different ways. Dollar stores usually have cheap sets of ornaments - which your team can draw on, write on or decorate. You can make paper chains or string up popcorn. I know these things sound cheesy but they work! Another way is to get creative! I've taken those 'mardigras' strands of beads and used them as garland. Have everyone on your team string up one miscellaneous item - spoon, sock (clean I hope) earring, etc.

If your team has a paper tree, draw ornaments and tape them to the tree! Service Learning Initiators (SLI) and Peer Helpers, can lead Ornament crafties!

3. Snow! Now some teams are fortunate enough to actually have snow, I have not been that fortunate however. In order to get your snow spirit on, just bring it on back to the elementary years. Make paper snowflakes! You can hang them from the windows of the housing, the van or the ceiling. If you get crazy and your housing is okay with it, you can even get that crappy fake snow stuff and spray the tere or even the outline of the snowflakes. The stuff usually wipes off pretty easily but get permission first!


4. FOOD! If you, your team or your family is anything like mine food becomes a very important part to any holiday season. Nothing comes close to saying team building like baking! Sugar cookies are a great way (peer helpers) to have a team activity. You can either pre-make the dough and everyone can roll it out and cut it and bake them or you can cut some out and bake them and the team can frost. Gingerbread men are usually a hit of everyone make the most outrageous clothes!
It's interesting how much NCCC can change people. Tonight my roommate and I had a heart to heart regarding our hearts, and our heartaches and the #of times life has kicked our asses. Both of us have been through some pretty rough stuff, things that I still haven't "written home" about and only in the last 15 months really begun to talk honestly about some of these things. The interesting point is that we are both here. We have both been saved. We are both making a difference. There are so many different people here - TLs, CMs, Staff, Sponsors, Community Volunteers and more but everyone has one thing in common. They live to serve. I love that. I love being surrounded by people who would rather start fixing the problem then just talk about it. yay!


Almost two weeks ago now, Class XVII was inducted, and then very different from last year people left IMMEDIATELY after induction people started leaving. Wow was it emotional. My pod left. My green shirted friends left. Other CMs whom I enjoy left. And then there were just 6 teams standing around campus - most of them had to actually start work that day but not Gold Six....we were the only ones left at one point. Alone, Isolated and running freely all over McClellan. Right before everyone left two TLs were going to take a picture...then a third joined...then a fourth, a fifth soon green shirts were flocking to get in the picture, the group began screaming at everyone in a green shirt who could be seen. A few people missed out but one last time all together before round one began.

On our first day out of CTI and Inducted we headed into Davis to get fingerprinted for work. I had to deal with my first less then smooth situation as a TL. The sponsor said she had called the fingerprinting place, the place said she hadn't and asked me to pay $54 PER CM for their paperwork. Called the sponsor who then talked to the fingerprinter and I didn't have to pay! Yay! It took way longer than expecting but the team got to wander around Davis and do some shopping. I of course did Paperwork.

Friday we worked with Sacramento Department of Parks and Recreation at the Westlake Parkway Park. It was a day of weeding. Then there was a weekend off where I"m sure I did something which I don't remember off the to
p of my head and then we started at work on Monday!

Let me just tell you how great it feels to be in a school again. The schools are running a very well operated and successful learning center and after school program. The team is doing a really great job too! The hours are super long, we're raking it between 10.5 and 11 hours of just drive+work time not to mention Physical Training (Pt), Service Learning (SLI), peer helping, eating, Individual Service Projects (ISPs), laundry, shopping and breathing. Last week we had veterans day off. I spent the day lazing about in bed online shopping and then went out for brunch with a CM. I had an awful Migraine and stayed home on Friday which was a bummer but very needed and then had the weekend off.

My team is shaping up nicely. There are times I get frustrated, or confused by the way they interact or treat each other but isn't that how it is in any family?

Here are some fun things we have done!
-Mandatory Family Fun night! Once a week the team does something together, this week it was Scategories
-Challenged Gold 5 to laser tag. It was best of two, loser cooks and cleans. We won..BOTH. The team was hilarious, they wait until the very last moment to get excited about anything but then showed up dressed from head to toe in black, with black war paint on their face or G6 written across their cheeks.
-Broke into my room! Okay so my roommate let them in, but then they proceeded to hide, questionably 30 mountain dew cans, all wrapped in blue tape with notes written all over them in my room. I have cans in my pillow, in my galoshes, behind my trash can, in my underwear drawer etc. I think I've found about 25-28 at this point. THey say things like "loggers and postal workers love k-town," a silver star with "pretend this is gold" "your hot" "you're the best tl" etc. Every CM signed every can.
-Duty! Duty is normally a night dreaded by all CMs especially if its on a weekend but a few of my CMs end up sitting with me EVERY single time. Last night we turned the downstairs entrance into a move theater and watched summer school.
-Music! My team has I think right now 4 guitars, a harmonica, a jaw harp, a washboard and a drum pad. Plus a lot of Ipods.
- High School Activities! Partially as SLI and partially as just another something to do, we've gone to a few things for Woodland and Pioneer. Today we went to their showing of little shop of horrors. It was great!

While being on campus has its ups and down I'm definitely glad I'm stuck on campus with the 10 G6 members. We're going to have a great year.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Has it really been 25 days?

Wow, Sorry that I have completely failed in writing. But between caring for 11 CMs and journaling (which i've also stopped days ago) and writing letters and postcards and keeping up on the Go1d forum I have neglected the blog yet again. I have two relevant entries to the forum I'm going to post for you guys!

Let me tell you about my pod!! Stephen this will probably make you vomit because they love me. So I was giving i-j...Daniel, Alan, Sam, Andrew, Danielle, Shannon (who is my personality twin), Dominique, and Jessie. I was the 2 youngest only baby Sam was younger than me. The first day I had a piece of cardboard with gold glitter and a pink number 17! My pod (most of who I had already met the day before) came sprinting up to hug me and get in line. I also have a pink ribbon tied to my clipboard so they assumed Pink was my favorite color, refused to let Mike Coleman take our pink markers during the Policy Review. When they got up to share out to the rest of the crowd they said 'um..we're pod 17 but from here on out you'll know us at the Pink Pythons" and so a family was born. HAHAHAHA...um they began to terrorize campus with love and pink t-shirts. We attended the pack test to support Alan on his 24th birthday waiving happy birthday banners and posters...all wearing matching pink t-shirts (I was in green). Then we participated in the campus wide kickball tournament and WON!!! We were actually complete champions. We were done 0-3 when Vaya announced we had 5 minutes left in the game. We loaded the bases, and Brooks (a guy on my floor) kicked a grand slam...throwing us into the championship game which we just rocked.

Wednesday was team reveal. My team got envelopes with their names typed (typewriter) on the front, inside were pictures of scrabble boards with words telling them I was meeting them in the kitchen. At the kitchen there was a picture of our muster spot then telling them how much I loved cooking and to talk about food...here they realized they all eat meat!!! This continued with prompts and pictures and things like 'you have to hurry faster if you're going to catch me," and "i hope you run faster than that in disaster relief." They reached me at the BBQ behind 946 where i had a very classy spread...vanilla pudding, mini loaves of bread, humus, triscuits, strawberries, grapes, pomegranates, rolos, plates, streamers and a beautiful sign! They were being classy and I have one teacher and one person super interested in education BUT they are soooooooooooooooooooooooo boring.

 * My team is actually NOT boring, it just took them longer than 30 seconds to click and now I adore them and are thankful for them. BEWARE OF FAST JUDGEMENTS FUTURE TLS!




The Legend of Two Ton Betty
As Ameri-rumors go, we know how quickly they spread, and how ferociously they burn. The tale I'm about to weave is based on a true story, however has in fact cycled through the ameri-world.

TL Kristina was having a bad day, her team had been driving her nuts. As she was driving Two-Ton Betty, her anxiety kept raising. Bickering, fighting, bouncing...faster and faster TL Kristina drove. The louder Gold 6 got, the higher the speedometer raised. As she careened around a corner, TL Kristina spotted a logging truck barreling down the one lane dirt road. As a lover of the game Chicken Kristina decided to continue straight ahead. As she reached the logging truck she cranked the wheel towards the logger, in an attempt to run him off the road. He turned into two-ton betty. The metal crashed into each other and Two-ton betty careened into the ditch. CMs went flying willy nilly, there was blood and bones and carnage. The van burst into flames and the logger returned to finish the job.

The real story of two ton betty; Kristina was having a rough day. There was food drama and she kept inferring in the most insecure way possible that her team thought she was incompetent. As soon as she got in the car she put in her headphones and went to sleep. Kristina decided to drive the Mendocino road because of her carsickness. While driving, and following all traffic and NCCC laws up around the logging road she came around a corner and about 1/4 mile up the road was a full logging truck coming towards her. Kristina slowed down and looked around for a pull off. There was no pull off, the logger just kept coming. I tried to slow down and stop to let someone get out to safety, but the logger wasn't stopping. If I had stopped it would have a collision. I pulled off to the side of the road as much as I could but there was no way he was going to get past us. He was creeping now but obviously still had no intention of stopping. I turned the wheels just enough to leave me on the side of the road when Matt (my long haired, sarcastic, musician) leaned across the seat and said "we're pretty close to the..." the ground gave way "ditch." Two ton betty was now sitting, frame on the side of the dirt road and logger just drove up. He stopped. He got out. He walked around the van laughing; he rocked the van a few times much to the CMs terror (the van was seconds from tipping over in the ditch) and then laughed again and told me I was stuck and drove off.

To trim down the saga I was marooned with Loggers (and one very cute logger named jesse) for four hours until a tow truck could get up to us. It took a tow truck anchored to a full logging truck to get two ton betty out of the ditch...and we became
G6 in a ditch!


Also i learned a ton of loggers names and got some pretty awesome incite into the logging world. The rest of Mendocino went great.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Its been ten days!

HOLY CANOLI!!! I can't believe its been ten whole days. Let me tell you have things really changed around here! Seven days ago I woke up at five thirty after a meager 4 hours of sleep (my consistent average for the last 2 weeks) and did some eighties PT. Yes...you heard me eighties PT. All the team leaders dressed up in eighties garb (ripped up hoodies, leggings, leg warmers, sweatbands, some even wore gawdy earrings and makeup) and we worked out to sweating to the oldies. It was hilarious watching the unit leaders shake it out and sizzle with the rest of us. Then all of the team leaders got together and 'chalked' McClellan Park. Signs for 946, 947, 943 and 922. Things have definitely changed since the wonderful arrival of all 285 of our corps members. I shuttled three groups from the airport (two for my pod). Laura and I were probably pretty overwhelming for these poor CMs. We were blasting ridiculous music and also jumping out of the van and talking excitedly. We had been waiting for months to get there. I was also very nervous. When my shuttles were done for the day, as Res Life I started just walking around the dorms talking to people who were moving in. I was trying to learn names and get things anyone needed. I met some really awesome people and honestly began to get pretty sentimental about not being a CM this year. I met my pod!!!! Boy were they awesome. I remember my pod loving from last year and this group definitely had the same blossoming love, energy and excitement. We just clicked them to each other and me to them. In a way I felt more closer to them then even most of the other team leaders. I knew however when the pods would end from the beginning and I knew that I was limited to only seven days with them. One of their birthdays was over the weekend so we went to Ricks Dessert Diner. We also had a kickball tournament which we won; they labeled himself the 'pink pythons' and while they had so much pod pride they also were completely inclusive of all other pods. I also had a group of boys on my hall who I adore. They are sarcastic and funny and ridiculous. Again, parts of me wish I hadn't been a TL but I also think some of these jovial joking relationships have only been happening . because I'm a TL.


*** this post was never finished but I still thought I would share. 

Monday, October 04, 2010

EEKS!

Corps members come in four days!!! EEKS! EEPS!  So much to do, so much to do.

I really do have kind of legit reasons for my absence, besides all the business of my green shirt. I went to Camp Mendocino again ( Sun-Thurs)! This time we went as a 'mini-spike' to give all of us TLs a chance to talk to a sponsor, do some more service and get off campus. I love mendocino, I love the staff, I love the work. My desire to own/work/run a summer camp obviously increased while I was there and both the staff families had small children just running willy nilly around camp...in a respectful kind of way. I felt like that was the sort of childhood experiences I wanted my kids to have. Shall I just join a hippie commune?


We did some pretty intense work. We demolished two bathrooms so there can be new ones installed (the new ones ARE nice!). We hiked up the worst slope of all time to do some trail work, on what is an 'escape' route in case of fire...although no vehicle I know will be able to make most of those hills. We also moved/cut firewood. Both of the families use wood to heat their homes (partially if not fully) and last years hard winter depleted most of their stash so we helped them out a ton!

After our drive back, Friday was back to work! So much to do til the CMs get here! I'm so excited for them all and for all their experiences they'll have this year!

Saturday a bunch of TLs took a trip to Yosemite. Oh wow! was it amazing. We did a hike to Mariposa Grove to see all those famous Sequoias. Then we reached this vista point that was dizzying with swaying trees and endless beauty. Thunder had started to roll in before we had even got to the peak, but you know how much I love thunder. On the way down it started sprinkling a little bit, then with .5 miles to go to the end (it was about an 8 mile hike) it just let loose. THe four of us sprinted to the bus but were soaked by the time we got on. As if we weren't wet enough, we had to get off the bus and run all the way to the back of the parking lot to get in the car. The only thing I wish was that I didnt have electronics to keep dry, sneakers which were soaking wet, and a 45 minute car ride sopping. I just wanted to jump in the huge puddles. We stayed at Camp Curry, which is set up exactly how I've always envisioned old Army Camps...just rows of tent/cabins. Our tent was non-heated but fit five people. Mikey, Laura, Paula, Chris Nic and I had a cozy evening...after a fun wine drinking evening with 14 other TLS in their cabin. Then this morning we bummed around the tent listening to the rain fall. The fog was beautiful the way it snaked through the trees and the bluffs. Also the rain caused a bunch of the waterfalls to flow and flow more than before so we had a great chance to see that. I want to go back and spend more time. Although with my knees and arthritis I'm always afraid of overdoing it, but I defnitely need to kick it up a notch. No pain no gain right?

I had so many cherry on top moments this weekend, I can't help but feel happy.

I want to upload my photos but since I'm laptopless (like one of the very few TLs who dont have one) I can't get them on FB or anything but walgreens. Hopefully I'll get some for you later.

Its already 1230 and I have 6am PT in the morning...the alarm rings in five hours! EWW!

Sleep sweet faithful readers.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Rebuttal?

This was originally posted on September 2, 2010 by a fellow 2009 Sacramento NCCC corps member. She's now been out of the Ameri-bubble for a month and has begun to make some rather abrasive and general statements which I thought was only fair to rebuttal. My comments are in red.

Ten Reasons to Cut AmeriCorps NCCC - The Rebuttal.

In the spirit of crapping all over things that matter a lot to people (and making lists), let me take this time to express my feelings about AmeriCorps NCCC.
First some propaganda.
(she had a promotional vid here)

Now that you feel warm and fuzzy about the youth of America, let me shed some reality on the situation with the top ten reasons why this program should be zeroed out of the federal budget.
Reason #10: The Youth of America are worthless. I worked with 9 individuals for 9 months that I would not trust to feed my hamsters if I went out of town for the weekend.  And I hate hamsters. Almost everyone who signs up for this program is avoiding something, be it college, getting a job, or another year of shuffling their feet nervously when their parents ask them what the hell their life plan is. But no matter what we were ignoring at home, we were united in not completing any meaningful work for America.

She states in the second sentence that she worked with nine people. Let me begin by asking -is it fair to judge an entire generation of millions of people on nine people? I also worked with nine people for nine months.  Not only would I trust them to take care of my hamster, I would trust them with my life, and I did a few times. I also have chosen to teach long term and to do service work with kids for almost my entire 'young adult-adult life." The Youth of America have problems; they are lost; they are unsupported; they are pigeonholed, pushed around and neglected. The Youth of America are constantly underestimated.How can anyone cast the 'worthless' label on anyone, but especially an entire army of persons based on nine whom she personally had qualms?

She is right, there are a lot of people who join NCCC to avoid college, a job, or because of a lacking life plan; however, does the motivation behind the service affect the service work to done? Not most of the time. What was her reason for joining the program? Did her reason affect her service work? Maybe, but after a year in the program and having spoken with dozens of people about their reasons for being here, I've learned one thing - they are all different AND LEGITIMATE. Despite the variance in reasons, most of these people were all hardworking and devoted.

Last week we read an article on civic engagement (I actually spoke about this in my last post) and personal purposes for service. The question is not why they are here, but what they are doing when they are here. The author the original blog post also seems to question that later. 

Reason #9: There is very little work to be done. This statement isn’t true.  I’m sure there is lots to be done for America.  But they don’t send N-trips to do it.  I spent six weeks playing scrabble and kickball for America.  I spent another two months sitting in a tool shed for America.  We annoyed more people than we ever helped, but we always got a real nice pat on the back on our way out. 

Personally, my favorite part of NCCC is the variation of projects and experiences. The writer says she spent an entire round (6-8 week project) playing scrabble and kickball for America. I didn't play kickball all year, nor did I work in a school or after-school program. I spent my first two projects in New Orleans. My first project was with a small non-profit, focusing on energy efficiency. In the affordable-housing and even living crisis New Orleans is in, I was surprised by how excited something as simple as changing incandescent light bulbs to CFL light bulbs could make people.  Calculations and projections also say that over several years it makes quite a bit of difference. While we teased each other about saving American one light bulb at a time, the feeling of doing something well, and for the benefit of others resonated throughout all the welcomed NOLA arms.  Second project I rebuilt homes. I think rebuilding homes for people who, five years later, are still NOT moved back in to their own residences IS getting something done for America, and they DID send N-trips to do it. Third round I camped and did Mountain restoration. My impact may not be immediate but in the climate and environmental situation Los Angeles has created, I was getting things down. It seemed futile some days but we were the first team to work there. We boosted labor from two guys and one old lady to two guys, one old lady and NINE hard working, passionate and fun adults. After years of hosting NCCC teams, I bet my kids will be able to see the work I started, and hopefully LA will also start to feel the benefits. Fourth round is the round I struggled with the most. I often questioned why I was there, why were were building a poultry palace and just playing with children all morning. We were supposed to be teaching them about Asian gardening and their culture but there's no way we could do that and then one day I remembered something, that I wish the writer here would have remembered. The relationships are what matter. She played kickball and scrabble. I played with worms, and I played hide and seek. Yet I and (I'm fairly safe to assume), she built relationships with the kids on the other side of the scrabble board, running into home plate, or hiding behind a raspberry bush. As mentioned in #10, kids and youth need help. They need positive role models. They need someone to talk to. And I value that as getting something done for America. Who knows what a single game of scrabble can do for potential life choices.  Who knows where a child may go because of something the writer deemed as unworthy. 

I also mildly ran into the experience of annoying an office full of people with our presence but when it boiled down to it their annoyance was directed at two things. We through a wrench of ideas and energy into their neatly pressed, unchanging ways.  
 
Reason #8: Government vans. For the love of fossil fuels, we probably put 50,000 miles on a 15 passenger van in 9 months. I would drive around to escape my retarded roommates.  Could we go for a walk?  Heck no.  We are Americans, and I’m sure our fellow Americans would like to pay for us to travel the American way… in a van that gets 3.8 miles to the gallon.

I don't feel like this is an actual argument as much as a tirade on Americans. My team walked. In fact, we went for walks almost every night. One of my team members walked 5 miles every Saturday just to get to the post office. I know lots of  "Americans" that walk. Another example of an individuals experience generalized into the whole program and country.

I agree however. GSA spends a lot of money on gas and the vans NCCC uses. I also agree in the environmental effects of the fossil fuel consumption and exhaust directly conflict with one of NCCC's five service areas. That being said, I also agree that the van plays a vital role to the "team" of NCCC as well as the work of NCCC. This program is team based. This program is travel. Can you think of a better way to fit twelve or fifteen people together to trek across regions? Would a fleet of cars be cheaper? Also, this group of 12-15 people need the room for their luggage (they LITERALLY MOVE at least every eight weeks) and tools. I'm sure if there was a better idea it could be presented and at least heard. 


Reason #7: Cargo pants.  As I am sure you saw in the video, the uniforms we wear are heinous.  If we are going to waste tax payers dollars, can we not do it in better outfits?  We are an ugly and misshapen bunch.  Maybe burqas would be better? At least for the ladies on my team.

To me, cutting an entire program based on qualms with a pair of pants is silly. Yes, I understand the synecdoche: however, I'm still baffled at the implied validity of this complaint. While I personally have disagreements with uniforms, and it does get annoying to wear the same unflattering outfit every single day, I definitely feel there are benefits. NCCC attracts a variety of people. Some of these people can afford nice things, nice clothes (pre-corps of course) and others cannot. Often, people are judged based on their appearance and anything "off-color." People inadvertently become obsessed with how good they look in comparison to others. During the first few weeks of my corps year, I stumbled sleepily across a very important realization. I had gotten up at 530 AM for Physical Training (PT) my roommate, now at 7 AM two suite mates, and I were fighting over our one shower and also trying to balance getting ready and breakfast. I was feeling fat, my hair wasn't cooperating, and I really thought the bags under my eyes were beginning to hang lower than my jawline. Of course, like any 21 year old girl I was annoyed and flustered. Clearly, everyone would notice how crappy I looked, my focus for the next 8 hours of training was already in jeopardy of slipping into nervous assessment of potential judgement. At 755 I then met up with my friends, and their friends and in one giant awkward and unattractive mass of gray and khaki proceeded onto training. How could I feel so self-conscious when every single person on campus, honestly, looked just as weird in their uniform as me? While I don't believe uniforms fix 100% of the problems I feel the conformity and comfort encourage members to let go of their vanity and implement a further action plan for service. 

The cargo pants are specifically called out here. I agree. They are hideous. the shorts hang below my knees, there is a butt-patch for extra sturdiness: the pants are too long even at regulars, they are baggy everywhere but the waist where I (against all rules) always leave the top button undone, they are a boring beige, they have nine-million pockets, and again...did I mention UGLY? I would much rather be wearing my cute snug fitting jeans to pull weeds for eight hours in hot Los Angeles sun, they would absorb the water I spilled while trying to carry buckets to newly planted trees, it would make more sense for me to wipe my hands here. I would much rather where a grungy pair of sweat pants to talk to my boss and represent a taxpayer funded program. Wouldn't you? WRONG! Give me an ugly pair of pants with enough pockets to fit my gloves, my safety glasses, my phone, my chapstick, a pen, snacks, sunscreen/bug spray, medication in some cases, and tools. Give me a pair of ugly pants to let 4 year olds and team members paint on. Give me a boring gray baggy t-shirt to let latex based mold suppressant kilze drip all over.

Also, I love when I walk down the street in my 'A (anything with the americorps symbol)' and receive honks, fist pumps, encouragement and words of thanks. 

Reason #6: Team Leaders. Bless their hearts. Some of them rock.  But a lot of them are fresh off a sociology major at Mediocre State U.  Think of the worst boss you ever had.  Now picture living with them and having to see them watch MMA videos while pounding whey in the basement of a YMCA.  This was my miserable life.  You should never live with your boss. Ever. 

Remember back at point #10, when I explained that this writers opinion was formed from her single team and generalized to all teams across the country. The same is accurate here. She claims here that the program should be slashed due to her  1 in 35 team leader experience. She's right, to the best of her knowledge her team leader was NOT the greatest team leader for her, or several other people on the team. Did that mean he wasn't a good team leader? No, it means he wasn't a good fit with his team. Do people advocate for closing schools because one teacher doesn't connect with one of his classes. No. 

I had a fabulous team leader (TL). My TL cared about me as a person, as a corps member, as a future team leader, as a future teacher and as an equal, intelligent member of our team. He cared about my entire team this way and there were MANY corps members (from just the Sacramento campus) who also felt this way about their Tls. My TL wanted to make me a better person by challenging me to be more assertive, to not be as easy to manipulate. My TL encouraged me to be me in the kitchen, in the car, and on the job site. He accepted all of us and even when we let him down he forgave us and moved on. He was a confidant, an ally and a leader and after 10 months I would call him a friend. 

I also have a problem with the pretentious references to sociology majors and mediocre state university's. Education is a problem in the united states. Education equalization is leading the forefront of reasons people and students are failing. However, does one school make you better fitted to serve your country and lead a team. No. Maybe a private school, or ivy league was not affordable. Maybe there were family problems that caused them to stay near home. Maybe there are learning disabilities which prevented them from getting the grades to get into these elitest schools. Maybe they really had not good reason for picking this state university over other colleges but again how does this affect a persons worth? A person's ability to lead? It doesn't.  I am a team leader this year. I went to a mediocre private university. I majored in education and English (some call that worthless too). Does this mean I am not a good role model, servant, leader or person? No. Does this impair my judgement? No.

Reason #5: Teammates. Remember those special people who are not allowed to watch my hypothetical hamsters? I had to live and work with them for almost a year.  Are people who are obsessed with Cici’s Pizza and Vampires and disgusting body hair worth living?  I guess so.  But I’d rather not be aware of their existence. NCCC took that away from me. 

Again, I'm completely baffled by the insensitivity rendered towards people with passions, diverse backgrounds and interests and I guess life in general. The writers "guesses" that people are worth living based on their interests? The writer also is making this a claim to cut the program. Honestly, this one angers me (although this whole thing does). The writer would rather not be aware of these people? Would the writer also like to be unaware of homeless youth, drug abusers, individuals with mental health problems? Or does the writer insist that these things are more legitimate than, in theory, a normal 18-24 year old with personal opinions and taste? Cici's Pizza? For people coming from low economic backgrounds, or making minimum wage in college and a meager NCCC living stipend, cici's sounds legitimate. Obviously, the one thing NCCC did fail to do in the writer's case is give her understanding/sympathy/compassion and a general attitude of kindness. NCCC took away her blindness to different cultures, opinions and ways of life. That is NOT a reason to cut the program, that's a reason to keep the program.  

Reason #4: Unskilled labor. What skills does an 18-24 year old bring to the table?  Hmmm… Working through a hangover? Or talking about how this relates to an urban studies class they took one time? How about almost remembering the difference between a phillips head and what was the other one called again? We have no skills. So “Hi, non-profit.  We know nothing about what you need us to do.  And we’re only here for two months.  So train us.  We’ll break stuff for two months and then be on our way! You’re welcome for our service!”

NCCC sponsors request this group of 18-24 year olds and their "unskilled" hands. Sponsors, especially consistent sponsors know exactly what they are getting into when they hire a group of kids who have limited to no experience in their particular field. NCCC has hundreds of sponsors who request and support teams at least once a year, if not multiple times throughout the year. Some of these organizations actually RELY on NCCC's "unskilled" hands. We do break tools, we do need training, sometimes people do need reminded on which screwdriver is which, but we are 18-24 extra hands, and lots of youthful energy. All five of the organizations that my team worked for this year were returning sponsors. Obviously, we were doing enough work and working well enough to keep them asking for a new team. The sponsor feels the impact and benefit of the team way more than the team every will. 
 
Reason #3: We’re volunteers, kinda. We walk the strange line between I get paid several dollars a day to do this job and I’m volunteering. So if I want to sit under a tree a drink CapriSun all day, I’m going to do it!  If this elementary school really wanted a playground built, they would hire someone to do it. 

The writer is correct. We're kind of volunteers. It's a hard concept to grasp - we're volunteering but we're receiving living allowances. I like to think of it this way.  I volunteered a year of my life. I gave up living near my family, my friends, a job, a steady income, comfort and security to have just the opposite. I volunteered to work 40-70 hours a week, to live in a small apartment with 12 people and to work hard. 


Many sponsors request NCCC teams because they can't afford to hire someone. Especially schools! The school+money crisis is prevalent and getting worse.  How can a school who can barely afford to keep teachers on staff hire contract, blue collar labor ($$$) to build a playground which may have been donated, or fund raised for? Also sometimes, if the sponsor has scrounged up enough money to buy materials they are lacking the money hire someone to do something else with it.

Reason #2: Government employees. The fine bureaucrats in charge at NCCC really love their job security.  Don’t we all.  With that comes a hesitance to listen to the sad little voices of many members who think the program is not living up to the standards it portrays.  Corps members complain a project is a waste of time, and staff thoughtfully sticks their fingers in their ears and retorts i’m not listening, i’m not listening. They’re always up for meaningful dialogue, as in dialogue about how meaningful their jobs are. 

 There are a couple people in staff positions whom I could live without. There are a TON of people in staff position whom I could NOT live without. I couldn't have a successful year without many of their caring, energetic and passionate personalities. Rarely have I ever felt my "voice" was being ignored by anyone but other corps members.


Early on in this post, the writer spends three reasons (5, 6, 10) telling YOU, the reader, how worthless, thoughtless and unintelligent the people on the projects are, but now the writer wants you to believe that they are able of deciding weather a project will benefit the community now, tomorrow, a month down the road or years down the road. Also, the assertion is there that nothing is done in the future about these complaints. A member of NCCC is only around for 10-11 months, unless they re-up for another 10-11 months. Nothing, especially not a million dollar, thousand member program can change that quickly. 


I had one project where my team felt it wasn't worth being there. We were frustrated, left feeling empty and concerned about if this was the best place our services could be rendered. Down the road, while I still have some of these problems, I also know I have no idea what impact it will have. I barely even understand the impact it will have on me. 


Reason #1: $308,000. That is how much it takes for an average team to have a fun year of volunteering across the US.  I can say there is no way my team, or most teams, were worth the expense to the American taxpayer.  I saw some awesome stuff, met a few cool people, and learned a few new skills.  That could have also happened if I worked at the GAP. 

Based on the tone and the opinion of this the writer, I too agree that this individual could have gotten the same experience at GAP. I however could not have. Is this really a question of worth again? How do you put a number on not only serving others but building better citizens. I am not naive, I do understand that this is NOT the case for every person in the program, but I do feel like it is the case for many people. People get here, they come across people, situations, talents, gifts, weaknesses, strengths, tasks, skills, diversity and about a hundred more things that they could not have found anywhere else. Many members have an increased drive to do service work or a new one to begin with. 

Prisoners (of which there over 2 million) are costing taxpayers somewhere between $30,000 and $100,000 a year. Not including court costs, appeal costs, damage costs, etc. Also most of them have cable TV, Internet, libraries etc. The NCCC member (of which there are less than 2000) cost the $308,000 mentioned above. The NCCC member has no TV, no Internet, sometimes libraries, and sleep on cots. When look at these numbers, please consider the tasks of each individual during the day. I'm not talking about the legitimacy of either, and definitely not saying NCCC is worse or even anywhere near prison conditions but rather the cost and/or luxury of some items. 

How much an NCCC member costs was presented to members in an effort to maximize their potential. We were asked if we thought we were working hard enough to cost that much. If my exhaustion, soreness or work ethic are reflective of that, then yes. Last year was worth MORE than $308,000 

So here’s my thing… Pull the damn plug, Congress. I am a sentimental sap who believes in goodness and helping people and sunhine, but even I cannot pretend this program is anything but a bunch of nonsense.
 
My biggest concern with this blog is that most of these reasons are NOT reflective of five campus and under 2000 people. They were reflective of one individual on a team of nine other people. I know there are other people who have similar feelings but it is not as common as people who appreciate the program (either immediately after or later in life). I also am unsure on how many of these reasons could possibly actually be used as a case. Would congress, honesty cut a billion dollar program because of something as frivolous as pants? I sure hope not. I appreciate any opinion that is constructive in its criticism with suggestions for the betterment of the critiqued. Here, I am overwhelmed by negativity revolving around not only the program but the way the writer views anyone outside utopia.

The writer had a bad year. The writer joined a program and hoped for a great experience of service, friends and...fun? Well, I can't speak for her but I definitely joined for those reasons. The program has flaws. The program has annoyances. Some days I loathe the program. BUT, the program has many benefits to communities and members.  The program strives to develop leaders and strengthen communities. If corps members try, commit and succeed, the program meets its goals.


It should also be known that the program is shifting to involve more "at risk" members. The program wants to be a step out of a bad situation, a bad place or a bad time. A persons preferences or past are not always indicative of their future and NCCC does a great job of balancing that for both members and sponsors.

The program gives limitations and rules but results in endless possibilities. 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

wouldn't it be great if we all had visible thought bubbles?

Phew it's been a few days...I wish I had new and thrilling things to report, but I really do just sit in trainings for 50+ hours a week. Most of my days start at 540 AM when Brandi Carlile wakes me up to trainings wrapping up around 6 pm and then socializing til almost midnight when I look at the clock, panic and sprint to my room (only to not fall asleep for sometimes an hour). I'm making some great relationships with other TLs and I feel like...preparing (maybe) for the fateful day the corps arrives!

One exciting thing that did happen was we had our unit reveals. Obviously I've been hoping of being on the GOLD unit again. There is such pride in the returners and being under Mike Coleman's leadership. Due to some ameri-rumours about last year and the fire management teams (FMT) changing to be on every unit I was honestly terrified of being separated from my GOLDEN spirit. Well I shouldn't have worried the big MC had me taken care of for another year. This is our first official picture as the gold unit. From left to right : Bruce, Javelle (my roomie), Chris, Mikey, MIKE COLEMAN!!!!, Shawna, Dani, Laura, me, and Paula. Later we decided who would be which teams and I'll be leading GOLD 6 into a successful, fun and hopefully life changing year! woo!!!! I really cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am to be part of this unit. I think every single one of my unit TLs has something great to offer me and the unit. I can't wait to continue this family!

Our first day of service was Saturday in honor of 9/11 the National Day of Service and Rememberance. Hands on Sacramento (HOS) partnered with a few other places, including NCCC to work at Bell Ave elementary. The corps and around 50 or so volunteers showed up to 'get things done' for Bell Ave. It was super fun and also felt really great to get back to work for a cause. I hammered in some stakes, sanded/painted a bench and then got to make a bulletin board. My tasks seemed a little less obvious as some of the other tasks which included laying stepping stones of the garden structure, repainting the basketball hoops/murals, planting trees, cleaning classrooms and otherwise organizing some teacher's stuff. This school seems to really be striving to help their students in every way possible and it felt good to be helping them. This picture was kinda creepy...I said "hi" to dusty (the guy in the green walking away) only to have him respond by asking if he knew I was on camera. I was so caught up in my sanding job that I had completely missed this fellow recording me from a few feet away! eeks! We didn't quite get all the work finished so tomorrow some of us will be going back to continue hauling rocks and dirt!

This morning the GOLD unit met MC, Larry Mead (!!! a favorite) and Lauren in midtown at McKinley Park to discuss civic engagement. This discussion brought up a lot of good questions and thoughts. Why aren't more people talking about service, especially in a culture where service is becoming 'sexy'? Does a person's motive behind service really matter? Should we make judgments of a person based on his/her service motivation? Or service philosophy? Over the last  year, I've met a lot of people, with a lot of different reasons behind their service work but their is one common, and on very important denominator - they serve!!! So what if someone is serving because it makes them feel good, or they're giving back, because they have a passion, or see a need. They are serving! Whatever that drive or motivation is, it got that person off their butt and into the world, a world which needs a lot of help! It was moments like this when I was sitting with my unit, and three staff and I could feel logs being added to the fire of my service. I love the way it burns.

Monday, September 06, 2010

Green makes my eyes "pop"

Well, its official I am IN sacramento, i am IN green and I am IN another year of service. Adjusting is definitely hard. While I was so sure this last year made me even more flexible and change oriented, I've come to the realization that I was only so good at it because the people I was with remained the same. I talk to about 3/4 or 1/2 my team almost every single day while 1/4 of them I barely talk to at all. I definitely did think that would ever be the case however, it is the truth. I have to ponder whether its the denial of feelings and nostalgia that leads to the silence or the truth after 10 months of a lie.

I'm getting to spend some quality time with the other TLs. We have such a good crew of people. Everyone seems solid and here for all the right reasons. Four days of training nearly killed me but the two days off for Labor day (only sun and today) really helped. I forget how getting talked at could be soooo exhausting.

I'm not feeling very 'bonded' to really anyone. I'm trying to remember if I felt that way last year, but I was immediately close to my CTI roommate and my pod so its a little different. I think things will look up hopefully by next weekend. A week and a half should be plenty of time to make close friends...in the ameriworld at least?

We went down to old sac for gold rush days. weird and touristy as usual. Today we went kayaking. I loved it! I think i'm gonna start going rather regularly.

I'm definitely stressed about money, home and making friends...acceptance is such a big deal. Momma thinks its because I'm so open and accepting it really confuses me when other people are not. I can't wait to see the great things this year has to offer and the awesome friends I'm going to make. Hopefully soon!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

driving west to the sunset

Thursday night Jennifer and I met t Grandmamas at six to begin our trip. I'd be lying if I said I left confidently. I got. Little hysterical about missing things and people; I have no clear plans for my life in elven months. I just kept telling mom I didn't want to leave. I drove away w Emily, Mom and the babies waving and I cried all the way to grandmas.

Once we got on the road I managed to calm down. I got a call from Mike Coleman as I was filling w gas...our last stop in Des Moines, it was nice. we drove through the night - took a two hour nap just outside Cheyenne in the car at a gas station. I slept a little longer she drove. We made it to Salt lake around eleven...but it felt so much later. We drove around, shopped nd visited historic salt lake sites. We got to our campground with Little Ceasers pizza around 6 then showere nd rerganized the car. We put everything from the trunk and backseat into the front seat and laid the back seat down to sleep. It is a Chevy cobalt two door so ita not like a car where there is a lot of room. We woke up at six and hit the road. Were about an hour from the Hoover damn and thirty miles outside Vegas. So far so good.

Here are some highlights
-wearing cake mustaches through Wyoming
-creepy little America
-the outdoor "showers" at antelope island
-lots of laughing

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Oh, the places you'll go.

Lately, I've been doing a lot of thinking about dreams - not the dreams which visit at night but rather the dreams where I spend most of my days. I've always been a dreamer. Dad and I used to joke about how he never had to tell me to keep my head up and my dreams high because I'm never anywhere but there. Starting in kindergarten, I began to dream of being a teacher. I wanted to wear the heels, the pencil skirts, sit on my desk and talk to a class full of students. I want to have books lining the walls, and students who come in during their free periods because I make a difference to them. Then I had that as a student teacher. It was AMAZING. The first day I stood in front of "my" students, I had never felt so perfect anywhere. 
 
In high school, I had made a "bucket list" (although it was before the bucket list time). On this bucket list were things that I wanted to have '(69 SS Chevelle), places I wanted to go (Prague), and things I wanted to see (the oceans); however, it also included things like falling in love, getting married, a beautiful farm house with a barn and a tire swing. Why did I want these things? Why were these things my dreams? Have my dreams changed? 

After taking a year off from my lifelong dreams, I've begun to realize there are many I've done that I never thought I'd do. There are things I never though I could do. In the dwindling hours before departing for Americorps part deuce, I've begun trying to asses my dreams and define new ones and old ones. These are things, I feel I can accomplish and I will accomplish, I hope. I'm going to include a small list here of things that I feel are mostly tangible, in the respect that they do not involve emotions or other people. 

  • visit all 50 states (in one week I'll be at 29)
  • best music festivals in the country (Jazzfest, Cochella, Bonnaroo, Sasquatch)
  • burning man
  • Peace Corps
  • Travel Europe (Prague, Vienna, Austria, Italy, Rome)
  • Brazil
  • Australia
  • Open a Youth Shelter/Residence/Charter School
  • Scuba Dive
  • Learn ASL
  • Photography (.35mm) + dark room development
  • Hot Air Balloon Ride
  • Learn ASL
  • Teach, Teach Teach
  • Start an inner city teacher placement program

 

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I've got the work blues, americors seems to have really crushed my stamina for monotony. I started watching the office. And went to the library. Only now I'm watching TV instead of reading - disgraceful! I spent all weekend with KT and Jenni.. Jen and I started and finished most of our road trip planning. We leave in none days! Ah! saturday I spent six hours at blank park zoo...omg how we managed to spend six hours there was beyond me but we did it and I had fun with the babies and the family.

Today was probably one of the best days I've had since returning home. It started raining almost immediately this morning and filled Iowa was a mildly cool dampness. The raindrops were the perfect temperature. I stood in the middle of the road with my hands up spinning, green skirt flowing up like an umbrella for my feet, my face turned up and being splashed by the rain. LOVE. To. make it even greater today it was the Tegan and Sara concert! I bailed work early to get KT. We went to hu hot, went to the mall and then went to a great concert! sooo good. Except for the crowd - how disrespectful to spend the entire concert talking about how hot T+S are or the crowd battle over who they love more. Its dumb.

Now here I am, sitting under the canopy at Kts. The crickets and locusts are playing their own set in the dark. Its cool enough to be in leggings and a hoodie. I love it. Plus I'm having great convo with kt. I love my bestie. I love today.
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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Let me come home, home is wherever I'm with you...

Day 12 - Can you even believe I've already been home 12 days? Has it really already been ten days since I've seen, hugged or tackled any single member of Gold 1? I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. It feels good to be home. I've missed my family and my house but a lot of changes have been boiling in the Sturm house and it's not quite the family or the home I left. For instance, I'm sharing a room with my darling sister Emily...which is fine however, I have my clothes under my bed just like I have for ten months. Is this just Round 5 being sponsored by The Sturm Family in cooperation with The Edge Pro, Inc?


I have also bought a car! woo go me! its a 2009 Chevy cobalt lt coupe. I fell in love with a pontiac g6 gt which was in my price range and tricked out, but the guy lied to my dad and I and then was a dick so we went else where. It's nice to have a car that has A/C and runs well, but this also means car payments for the next five years and in theory also happens to mean most likely no Peace Corps next year. I am already freaking out about next year but trying to remain calm.

I really have not quite adjusted to being home yet. I was fortunate to become great friends (at least I feel like) my eight roommates over the last ten months; it is so discomforting to be living without them. Not only was there usually something to do, not doing something was also something to do. I had more fun doing absolutely nothing with them than I have had doing things with a ton of other people. Cooking dinner alone is a bummer. Washing dishes alone is a bummer. Laying in silence in the dark is a bummer. I talk to sophie every single day and I facebook Sara about everyday and JFB has been on facebook a lot. Yasha and I were talking more frequently thanks to MSN but he's now left the country and who knows if and when we'll talk. I've said a couple things to Stephen and only text with Denise once. I miss them, but I know most of them are extremely happy to be back to the 'real world' and Americorps was all just a dream. And it is beginning to feel that way.

However, I get to go back. Jen and I are working on the "road trip" although nearly not as planned as she would like. Then I can visit Sophie in LA, hang out with Paula in McClellan and start an adventure all over again. I'm getting really antsy at home, luckily for me there have been thunderstorms every single night....PTB!

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The End.

I have to admit the reason I write this is partially because our flight has been delayed due to a missing manual. Two weeks now I have been putting this off in hopes that maybe it will pause time, stop the inevitable or even slow the tide, but not surprisingly it did not work.

The last week in Seattle featured a pig roast. Yes, all the archaic images of pigs on giant poles being turned over a fire is indeed exactly what we were part of. This year was the 35th annual Danny Woo Community Garden pig roast. There was much ceremony but also much free time. I was part of the overnight shift where I held strong until 530 when yasha fell asleep on my lap and I on him. Luckily, we were relieved at 6 to go sleep in the conference room. the rest of the day was put carving, serving food, eating food and cleaning up. All day Sunday we packed and cleaned. It took me about 20 minutes and I was done. I remember how awful my rolled sleeping back looked on the way to Mendocino and how perfect it looked right before leaving burien. A lot changed in ten months....even more than my ability to pack and roll a sleeping bag.

We stopped at Powells in Portland. WOW! I looked at one and a half bookshelves during the two hour visit. Must return!

the last nine days have been on campus. We were reunited with gold six which was great! Went to harveys, the lions gate, adalbuertos, the taqueria, goodwill, debriefs, meetings, trainings and more! Without saying much but feeling its worth noting-Gold one kinda fell apart, not much but enough that I was already hurting over our separation before we even left......especially one predestined to end but still one of my favorite friendships. I spent a lot of time being mad at myself, being ignored and feeling hurt, often wondering if this was how they wanted to be remembered. But graduation came yesterday and slowly my ameri-family dwindled and my tears multiplied. I bid goodbye to sara and JFB first then Denise and gold six love Jen and Dan....then today everyone else.....

Only today turned into an epic United Airline failure, only rescued by American Airlines and now Stephen is staying at my house for the night!

While I know no one on Gold one reads this I'd like to say a few things....
Eric Shupin - I have already told you a hundred million times how great you have been. I can't wait to see you as a friend outside the confines of your green shirt. Thanks again for caring about Gold One and I as well as your inspiration to be a TL.
Iman Al-Saden - This year you have really shown me a wild and probably a little reckless side of me. I've done things that were purely "the best idea ever" and also maybe just the opposite. I'm glad it was you who slept inches away from me for the first three rounds and I wouldn't have shared my itsy bitsy tent with anyone else. Ill always remember you as we drove down Judge Perez going way too fast, windows down, smoking singing break even at the top of our lungs. You will be a great Dr and a darn good "dad."
Sara Huffman - I can't believe we met over a year ago, ended up on the same team, and had such a great year. You have changed so much that I can't even think about you in Ikea as the same person. From your budding sarcasm to your love life (haha) I am so glad you were here. you for sure are a life long friend and I will make many drives to Minnesota just for you.
Stephen Iberg - Cynical, pessimistic and unemotional or at least you pretend. I really appreciate you. I need someone to bicker with and fight with and I'm sorry for the actual fights we have had. I admittedly even like when you correct my grammar, puke BC my family is adorable, and spend WEEKS searching for the legos. You have taught me a lot of things about a whole genre of life I have had very little part in and also how people deal with similar circumstances. I know you'll be great and if you ever doubt it call me and Ill be there.
Yasha Kazantsev - guns, cars and camping. Need I say more? I have had such a surreal experience seeing things through your eyes and also even attempting to imagine your adventurous life. You are definitely an odd duck but not nearly as odd as you think. I am extremely fond of friendship and our crazy last fourth round. I cannot even fathom that in two weeks you will be in Holland. I know I said it this morning but while I'm saving the world Ill be sure to visit. I'm really going to miss who became to me.
JFB - Whether you were being "sugar-tits" JFB. JFC, JF block or any of the other names Gold One has given you, its safe to say you could not possibly be forgotten. It takes unfathomable courage to, at 24, pack your bags and leave home to travel with a bunch of gypsies. I appreciate your honesty, your compassion and your spunk. More than once you have blessed me by simply noticing me when I was feeling taken for granted. You can bet your dollars Ill be to Tennessee to visit you and Samuel...and make you a pie.
Sophie Putka - It just occurred to me that you and I have cooked in the same kitchen since the day CTI catering ended. You have been one constant thing in my life - from just sharing a kitchen to living together you have always been there. You were the first person I talked to in Mendo about my nerves for the team and missing my pod and the last person I talked to about missing Gold 1. You have definitely become one of my truest and best friends. I can't wait to family road trip with our respective families. We have a long life ahead of us and I'm glad it will always involve the other.
Denise Smith-Jaspers - I can't imagine sharing a room with anyone else. Our radio ALWAYS up too loud and the neighbors always yelling at us is not something I could have handled with anyone else. You have an attitude and spice not very many people have but the way you care for Gold One and kept us laughing is definitely something to remember.
Everybody - I wish that I could confidently say we will all be together again or even I will see you all again, but life has a funny way of rocking even the most firm plans and strongest hopes. Some of you I have no doubt that you will be on the rest of my timeline, but as I kissed and hugged others good-bye I couldn't help but think "this is it." I hope this isn't the case; I hope we can have a crazy reunion tour or at least I hope to make it to you, but please always remember there is an unending invitation to wherever I am. You are my family.


As I close the final Class XVI Gold One Blog entry I'm flying to Des Moines. Stephen and I arrive at ten and I drive him back to the airport in the morning to bid my final farewell. This year has changed me in so many ways and again I'm leaving my heart in so many places.

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