I'd rather be mother Theresa than marilyn monroe

Well...its official I'm no longer a poddie. I'm now a member of gold #1. Pods were our temp teams which lasted a little longer than normal because of our leaders sacrificial service in America Samao. Go NCCC! This past weekend was probably the best weekend I've had in awhile especially since joining. Saturday kicked it off. Bright in early all Americorps NCCCers were bussed to a sacramento theater where we met the mayor who snapped a few photos gave us a speech (unimpressed). He along with the govinator have dubbed the fourth saturday of every octo er "Make a Difference Day." our focus for the day was the large homeless population of Sacramento. In thw theater we listened to a board of experts including a gent who spent years on the streets. I was touched; I'm already thinking about how I can translate this feeling into action in. Des Moines. That's really a huge reason I'm here. Obviously to help here but also to take things back to my classroom and home.
Our project was at the womens's empowerment shelter. This program is one I can really get behind. Women who are already homeless or on their way to homelessness can enroll in this eight week program which gives them job training, interview skills, anger management and most importantly support to get up and out of their situation. They are in session 38. The walls of the front office were covered in bios of the women and then what has become of them since the program. The walls were literally covered with women of all ages colors and personalities, but so many of them shared commonalities- abuse, drugs, sex and the loss of a loved one most commonly a child. It broke my heart.
The project most included organization and boxing and transporting donations. The building has a back room which was full of piles and boxes and many many MANY clothes. It was fun to go through the clothes there was everything from retro chic to retro trash cute contemporary and 90 power suits lol. With all that taken care of the women can focus on their program instead of their mess.
After we returned I finally got to cook! I made poppy seed chicken, apple salad and asparagus. Joe ended up coming into the kitchen. We hung out and he helped with apple salad. When we served dinner everyone was there (except cam who had a hot date). Afterwards almost the whole team headed to the bar. We hung out and talked and laughed. The next day Sam and I plus some of pod 21 went into sacramento. It was a pretty sunday of strolling and ice cream. I had a great time and we got back just in time for some of justins awesome grilling. We plabned our trip as a pod into san fran the next day. After dinner we had a meeting which turned into something both traumatic and tragic.
At the end of the meeting we were all handed paper slips. Our pod had all different ones and suddenly we knew it was time to part. Sarah and I started crying her harder when she realized she was the only one with her clue. There were five of us in search of the "rocket" which turns out to be a playground. Sam, joe, cam, andretta and I were now gold team members while the real of our pod was blue green and silver. Upon reaching the rocket we realized that most of the people we didn't want including the only team leader I didn't like and every other team leader was in samao. They didn't give us our teams then but rather made us wait til the next night.our trip to san fran was cancelled bc both our paddies who drove had training and we had a corps wide dinner. The sun set fast on my good mood. We called a 911 pod meeting to encourage each other cry and hug. Afterwards justin and I ended up stargazing and talking. I was so cried out by night.
Monday gold stil had the day off so sam and I plus a few went to the aero space museum which was neat button san fran. We took another scavenger hunt to find our teams that night.
Cam and I actually ended up on gold one together along with sara who I met in minute (a different then my poddie sarah). Our team is different there is much less laughter and sarcasm and barely any ball busting. I feel like I'm constantly censoring myself but this is it. These are my teammates this is my family. Everyone is hesitant right now and I keep saying it will get better. I'm hopeful even when I lack faith. Right now it feels like well tolerate each other but not be crazy for one another. I'm nervous and achy over it.
Today (thurs) gold is headed to camp menedcino for service projects and team/unit bonding. Its in the redwoods and going to be beautiful and cold! Yay! Maybe it will finally sink in that I'm in california when I see the redwoods.

I may not get to post this til I get back but I'll def give you an update when I return.
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The never ending training meetings are taking a toll
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Some pictures

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Poddies

So our pod may be non-permanent but I've grown really fond of them. We are all sassy and playful and every single person brings something awesome to the team. Tuesday morning was our physical training (PT) baseline and the realization that in the near future well be separated. This will also mean moving to a new room and a new roomie which will make me sad. Andretta is a riot and our personalities are both similiar and different. I'm nervous about switching all this stuff. Will the new pod get my smart ass comments and have them in return? I hope....I couldn't handle a stone cold sally lol.

The baseline went okay. While I'm proud of how I did I wish I was better-that best was better. However I did crank out 37 'modified' push ups (as zach calls them). This is more than I've ever done in my life! Total! Go me! I ran the mile and a half in 1903. This was frustrating for two reasons. One my contact slid out and not wanting to loose it I tried to put it back in while running. Two we ran around six am which is still very dark and it was an awful fog. I was trying so hard to watch where I was going very fearful for my ankles and three....(I know I said two but a girl can change her mind right?).... I was THREE SECONDS past 19 (the lowest time category). I could have shaved off ten seconds....seriously. I think I'm going to suggest that they tell us time at the halfway mark.

Things are still boring. Certified in CPR AED disaster relief and first aid this week. Cranked out four pages of my story (see other blog) and tried to take up suduko. I need something....

And to the few of you rascals who have asked there are no romances brewing.


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a quickie...

Hey hey hey!! I'm sure all of you back home have missed that haha. It has been a few days since I posted last, even though I was in here yesterday. I have been feeling a lack of words. its pretty much a bummer. I even have a fresh new journal but i haven't found my 'spot' yet.

Its been an overwhelming amount of people and information, but nothing I can't handle. I have a feeling I'm talking way too much but there are some awfully quiet people around. I'm going to try to shut my pie hole. Although I will say i'm SUPER proud to be a teacher, even though I have no students and I just want everyone to know.

Yesterday was eight hours of meetings SNOOZE.

Today was eight hours of work. YAY! Today we went out to Laurel Ruff School. This is a transition school for students with special needs. There are 110 students in the school total but we worked one on one with Frances, who heads up a program from 18-22 year olds. This is an awesome program and while wars over transition, integration etc are being waged at home over SPED it was nice to see a functioning awesome program and get to help! They have a garden in the backyard which they use sort of as a victory garden. We put in two new beds (concrete stones and raised beds) as well as weeded and took out a monstrous grapevine. The grapevine was probably the high light of my day because a bunch of us girls just went at it and were eventually joined by two fellas to tip it over and cut the roots. Dont worry it wasn't a feminist enjoyment more like a social, bonding enjoyment. Everyone on my team seems to be just as sassy as me..so yay!

Tomorrow it looks like some of us are going to be taking the light rail into sacramento. I hope I find some pomegranates! I'm still missing fruit and snacking etc but I feel good and I'm enjoying this a lot.

Love you all and I miss you!

PS sorry there are no pictures!

Its official

It looks like this is my last post from iowa. Well here I am at the airport. I leave DSM in fifteen. I barely slept and when I finally did it was by accident and it made me late but here I am with relatively no set backs. I'm extremely nauseas and scared. Saying good bye to everyone was so hard - a few tears trickled out while hugging Daddi but that was expected. Its going to be so hard to leave mom. She's my best friend and most of the time she's the only one to get through my hard head. Kt didn't come this morning so we parted with another ill see you. I keep hoping someone will show up I'm doing americorps with. I'm so sensitive to alienation nd being left out that I'm praying fervently to fall in with some people soon.

Ill be seeing you iowa. Ciao!
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Um leaving on a jet plane....

Suitcase is weighing in around 47 and my carry on is about 20 plus my purse of course but I am packed! I probably could have been packed earlier this morning but I was so paranoid about forgetting things that I couldn't committ to being 'done.'

The wait has started.

eight hours til departure.

Eight more hours of not sleeping.

I'm so nervous.

Can't wait to see you guys out there!

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two days and a lot of good byes

As this weekend was one of my lasts I spent it with Jens. Ya'll know this thanks to the previous post but here is a sweet picture Emma and I took after I picked her up from grandmamas. I saw the girls this morning since they were here for co-op. Everyone was very sad about me leaving. They are goign to grow so much while I'm away. Will I?

Tonight I drove to Simpson in Indianola to say good-bye to my friend Sylvia. We have been friends for a long time. When I was a senior she was a freshmen and one of 'mine' lol. We hugged and talked in the halls and I tried to be there as much as I could for her and I absolutely adored her as a person. We even did a play together that year. While I was at college we kind of drifted apart but then last fall about this time we started talking again. Our friendship has grown from mere classmates to friends. I feel like she is my little sister. It was awesome to see her at college and it was great to be on a college campus again (I always get so sad about having graduated). We got some jimmy johns because we love sandwhiches and then went to the mall.

When it came time to leave we had like 12 super long hugs and lots of tears. I've been trying so hard to not say good bye but rather I'll see you soon; moments like that dont seem to matter much.

Tomorrow is a big day of packing. I'm not sleeping but Im' definitely eating (times I wished I couldnt eat when i was nervous instead of eating constantly). I know I'll only be gone a few months before I come home for christmas (fingers crossed) but mom and dad are going to be 1000's of miles away. My sister will be getting her permit at fifteen my brother will be turning 13, audrey will be 2.... and Mom and dad will be adopting all while I'm gone. Everything is going to change. I know I'll always have somewhere to come home to but it will be vastly different than the place I left.

tears for goodbyes,

nerves for hellos,

worries of tomorrow

and excitement for today.

This is huge.

an obligatory post.

I know I should probably be posting something but the neurotic tendencies are taking over and I can't sit still. Its only 2 days til I fly out and I really cannot believe I'm doing this.

I went over to Jen's tonight to play some Mario on the wii and chill. The night ended with the girls refusing to let me leave. I had a seven year old on my left foot and a five year old on my right. They understand 'long time" but not "not too long." It's hard to explain. 10 months seems like forever but I know its not.

I feel unprepared - emotionally, physically, mentally. I dont know what to expect but expecting nothing is not my strong suit. I want to prepare. I want to have a plan and I need some sort of security....but as one of my favorite quotes goes.....

*“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”

Give up the ghost

Good morning!
While I am at work I felt like I should share this with you. Brandi Carlile's Give Up the Ghost and Mayday Parade's Anywhere But Here came out yesterday and of course I had to buy them right away. Brandi's new cd was much more important than the other but I have been dying for some new music.

Give Up the Ghost has a little different sound then The Story. It has a fuller music feel with the piano and violins etc, but there are still awesome acoustic songs and her voice is melodic and divine as usual. I am not a huge fan of "Caroline" but I think it will probably grow on me. Her music just makes me feel good. I also downloaded "Creep" live in Boston. Its a good song and she does it so much justice. Love her although not nearly as much as my bestie kt.

Mayday Parade's cd is pretty good too. There was much concern as to how it would sound considering one of the vocals departed from the group but I am not disappointed in the purchase. I went ahead and bought the bonus version for the music videos etc. I think I would be listening to this much more if I wasn't listening to Give Up the Ghost on repeat.

Round one of packing.

Alas, I have resigned to some tediously tiresome tasks of packing. Tomorrow I need to ship my package UPS in order for it to get there on the 13th (the day before my grand arrival). I"m beginning to feel like there is not enough room in the world to make me feel comfortable about this packing extravaganza. I'm not going on vacation. I'm not just traveling for fun. I am MOVING, literally moving across the country and in theory I'm taking one suitcase and one box. I have decided to pick 'favorites' as far as clothes go but I didn't let myself take dresses or skirts.

DIGRESSION:

I'm kind of feeling like I may be out of place. While i LOVE getting dirty -I farm, I play sports, I enjoy working on cars (even though i dont know how) i like woodworking and learning new things. I have NEVER shyed away from something bc it could get me, or my clothes, dirty. BUT I love dressing up. I make up. Do my hair up. I love heels, skirts, blouses, sweaters, jewelry and while nothing is better than wearing sweats around the house I firmly enjoy dressing up. I'm bringing one skirt but not bringing any dresses and I'm very sad. .

END DIGRESSION:

I'm also struggling with shoes. I know, I know. All you gents can laugh but ladies...do you hear me? So in the NCCC suggestion list it says to bring dress shoes BUT are BDU's are black and brown which would require black AND brown dress shoes, but then there are heels (which i live for) and closed toes. I have flats but they are patterned so does that count? AHHH. I really can't afford to buy new things when I get out there. Especially if I just have it already at home which is why I think I'm compulsively overpacking.

I'm actually getting excited now. I'm so glad that I'm doing this. Its hard to not be in the classroom. I miss putting together units and skimming through texts for silly things like metaphors and similes. I miss the laughter and the respect that a room full of students can give you. I miss the challenges that a room full of students can give you. I hope that the next ten months can give me tools for my 'teachers toolbox' and that I'll be an even better teacher when I come back. But.......

I'm a forward thinker. When I was in jr high i was planning high school and when I was in high school I was planning college and when I was in college I was planning my life after and then suddenly in my very last year at college I make a random decision to apply then in my very last MONTH 2 weeks til the very end of college I get accepted and now...what? I'm trying to plan life after the corps but it seems dim and scary. I won't be back til the very end of July most schools are interviewing in april-may not the end of july almost almost. It's going to be a dire situation and/or an emergency that gets me a full time teaching job next fall. BUT so much can change. This program is sponteniety at its finest and I'm in it for that. People could change, hearts could change, lives could change and I can't plan based on everchanging. That fact is throwing me off and I think at a whole what I'm mostly terrified of.

On a family note Paiges birthday was last weekend and we were at jenni's all day on sunday.....

peace out...best friend 911.

new blog stumblings

This evening I stumbled across a blog, which led me to another blog which led me to an etsy store which led me to love. haha. We know how I get about such things. I found all of these things because I traipsed into the wonderful world of "Our Designed Life." Let me first say Happy Birthday and congratulatins on the wedding to Monica!

Blog #1 -->

My attraction to her blog comes from the idea is that it looks and feels a lot like mine. Obviously this is more professional and put together than this old ratty tatty thing BUT she actually talks about her stuff for more than a few words! So many blogs are just pictures or links which is wonderful BUT I want to know the blogger, I want to know why he/she blogs the content he/she does. I personally adore the post about shelves. I have such a fondness for shelving units and these are truly unique and functional! I'm incredibly partial to #...okay I can't pick, but I really tried! I also feel like I'm having a conversation with her. I know why she posted about shelves, what she likes and also she gave me some rather cordial tips! LOVE IT!

I could REALLY let the logorrhea flow and pretty much just write about all of her posts and her etsy finds but I have another blog/shop to mention and MUST get some sleep.

Blog #2+Etsy -->

I absolutely adored the blog. Oh, Hello Friend is a colorful and crisp page. The site really made me feel uplifted and cheery. I was especially drawn to this "Inspire: lovely" post. So many of the images seem to fit perfectly into my tastes.


I haven't really posted anything recently about Etsy finds lately, which to be honest has been because I have been trying to save as much as I can for Cali and we all know that as soon as I get on Etsy i have no monies left! I mosied on over to Hello Friends shop and of course fell in love. I put the purse away before i clicked but seriously!

I found this gorgeous locket. I absolutely love the color on the front and the locket aspect! Although I already have one I NEVER take off this one is calling for me.

She also has the most beautiful hair pins (which with my new haircute {yes hair...cute}) and buttons. Erg. I'm in love. Everything is so colorful and clean. Like little tiny pieces of personality! None of it is gawdy or ostentatious but delicate and simple while definitely getting a quirk across.

I definitely was thinking that the umbrella pendant was my favorite but the lovebirds have won entirely, without question. How glorious are they?

Send your love to these hard blogging ladies! :)

Sleep sweet I'm crafting and making lefsa tomorrow!

...from my phone?!

So after yesterdays iowa student loan disaster, I have been seeking solace in my blackberry (who I feel like I should name since we are rather intimate). Today I discovered logging from my phone! ) YAY! But had to go back to work before exploration could begin.

This evening I watched Doubt (I don't think he did it) with my parents and then.... GOT MY FLIGHT INFO! I fly from des moines at 8 am on wed the 14 and layover in phoenix where I am flying with two (so far) other ladies and we arrive in SAC at noon. I could puke my life away right now? Too much? Well I am nervous!
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Update

I feel somewhat obligated to post an update. I am now 2 weeks from shipping out to California and it seems I have become the victim of some events.
BAD NEWS: I went to Sioux City this weekend to bid Adieu to my friends there; the weekend turned out to be a pretty bad bust and left me feeling rather gloomy. My friend J-da came down with some nasty flu business which put her out of commission to really do much of anything. :( Obviously not her fault but a definite bummer since I wont be seeing her for a year.

GOOD NEWS: After 3 years of my Lazarus phone (due to the fact it has been miraculously ressurected on several occassions), I have been upgraded...but this was no ordinary upgrade. We switched to qwest/verizone and consequently I am now the proud mother of a Blackberry Storm...yes I've had it less than 8 hours and am ALREADY addicted. tehehe.

BAD NEWS: In the mail today came my denial for deferment on my private student loans. I'll be calling tomorrow to figure out just why. If it had anything to do with their poor service, awful communication or anything beyond resononableness (yes i made up the word and no i dont think it has anything to do with it) I will be FIRM and if you know me..you knwo what that means. I think this says wonders about our government and money grubbing corporations. Here I am, after working my ass off for 3 years to TEACH decide to deprive myself of EVEN MORE income and social status to volunteer in a GOVERNMENT program and I'm being told that the majority of my meager living allowance is going to have to go to paying off student loans. I have good credit, good standing on all bases and am obviously not just pretending to be poor to get out of paying them. I may be foregoing the razors and soap in an attempt to pay the bills...sorry fellow corpsmen haha.

GOOD NEWS: We are making lefsa this weekend! Lefsa is a norwegian traditional food and a recipe which has been passed from all sorts of generations and such. We have lefsa grills, the perfect rolling pins and of course true lefsa sticks from Norway (thanks to our Norwegian friend Ana Marie). The family bumped this date up so that I can participate in the day of potatoes.

GOOD NEWS: I am feeling more comfortable shipping some of my things to California. I talked to a few othe rpeople who are doing it and it has been confirmed that I will guarenteed have time to pick up my things. Thank goodness! I have also made a few purchases but somehow I doubt its going to be enough....student loan clouds of gloom may stop me from making anymore.

BAD NEWS: I am freaking out. It all just feels rediculously surreal. I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm leaving. There have been several family incidents which have stripped me of any confidence I had in departure. What's going to happen while I'm gone? I'm also feeling rather self-conscious. *sigh*

BAD NEWS: I'm still really missing teaching. :(

40 days!

Okay so I have renewed my vigor for attempting to not be the fat, out of shape, less than attractive one when we get out to Cali. Right now i am SOOOOOOOOORE, but it is a love sore for two reasons. 1 I just enjoy being sore and 2 (drum roll please) It is really my moms and she already told me I could not HAVE it but you really can't keep lovers apart you know.

Last week Mom and I went out for dinner and some errand running. While we were out for dinner we had a chance to share some anxious feelings (or at least I did). During dinner I just verbal vomited about nerves, fears, anxiety, qualms - you name it! While reassuring me she said 'have you made a binder yet?"

TIME OUT!

Have I made a binder yet? I ms education major? I miss office supply freak?I miss binder lover? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! During my fear tantrem I had completely neglected to get my ducks in a row! I have promptly lined the fella's up and bound them! I have organized my lists for packing, for purchasing and for planning. I have started collecting information on things to do while I'm in town. This part of the book is still a little nerve wracking because I'm not quite sure how it will work out or what to do. I know i want to camp, and see a few different places but idk about available time or really where I'll end up and I definitely am seeing an insufficient funds problem, but I have a binder.

Any suggestions on where I shall go?

Also the fall is making me really sad about a few various things. Iowa has been incredibly beautiful this august...unforuntately that means corn is low garden is not so hot and fall is already in the air! I've enjoyed the weather but its also brought almost all my friends going back to school, or too school (as students or as teachers) and I am just slaving away at the shop. I miss school :( I also miss college. I'm seeing albums on facebook of mud slides and football games and house parties and lazy days laying around in dorms. Statuses are about tests and classes and dorms and RAs and roomates and plans..I MISS IT!!!! I also got hit with another wave of nostalgia today when I realized that pretty much everyone I met my freshmen year of college is a senior this year and Ive already had it. They're all excited about how awesome it will be and graduation and I missed it. I'm not really even that close with these people anymore. I feel the void in their party/weekend pictures but I know they dont.

Also, kt and I were walking around grays lake (working off some Taco Johns) on the bridge these girls just dropped trou, climbed over the railing and dove in. GROSS! Dirty water, SEWAGE water, FISH! Poop! who knows what else! AND they don't know how deep it is! but then I realized how jealous I am. They werent thinking about any of these things...they weren't being responsible or mature or cautious they were being adventurous, spontaneous and light hearted and I am so jealous!

I'm starting to feel, for the first time in my life, like I AM rushing through it. I am so driven that I just never slowed down. I did for a while, and that bit me in the arse and i just kept driving through. I am cautious, responsible and have been raised to always think of the consequences of my actions. Unfortunately, in my wanderlust, spontaneous soul i get sad.

I'm making it a goal (going in my binder!) to slow down, to be wild, to be crazy and to act like i'm 21! In a safe, non-jail time sort of way! It's going in the binder...and then its sacred! lol.

Cheers!

65 days and i'm worried about shoes...

So I leave for Cali in 65 days and a lot has happen.

1) My commitment has been tested - recently I realized that this isn't the sort of responsible mature thing that Kristina Raine Sturm does. I graduated college in three years because it was financially responsible. I've never once taken a spontaneous trip anywhere. Even when I was in London I planned everything and then never went out at night and really didn't do much besides touristy things. Now here I am, scrapped the responsible mature idea of getting a job and settling down and now I'm running off to Cali. Sure I can say that they are paying off a 1/4 of my small student loans, and I'm gaining valuable leadership skills and helping a lot of people in need. Sure these are responsible mature thoughts but lingering heavily is my need to get away from all I've ever known, to make it on my own, to meet new people and to start over. I am kind of thinking of it as a second chance for the college fresh start. Anyway, a couple days ago the woman I student taught with text me to ask me if I would be interested in a long term sub position in her department. When it was all said in done they were discussing the opportunity for me to actually be hired on as more than a long term sub and negotiating benefits and salary. So here I sat the mature responsible job and settling (even though I loathe sioux city) or running off on a notion.... still leaving for cali in 65 days. I do miss teaching a lot. I'm so sad that I'm not preparng a classroom and reading new curriculum and I'm ver scared about how I'll find a job next year while I'm still in Cali during the prime teacher hiring phase but God will provide right?

2) The shoe dilemna - Essentially I'm moving- like moving into college, like moving into a new place; however, I can only take the 50lbs allotted to my one check bag. I have to bring a set of dishes, sheets ontop of living things and clothes. I wont be home til christmas (hopefully please feel free to donote to the bring kris home for christmas fund) so I need a variety of seasonal clothes. I dont know what part of the country I'll be in either so again, needs a variety of clothes. I love variety so how do i pick between my dresses, my skirts, my jeans, my shorts, my shirts, my sweaters, my jackets, scarves, gloves, hats, what?!?! And there are shoes... we have khakis and black pants which dictates brown and black heels (we know how I love my heels) BUT if I got out I would like my splash of color shoes like my red ones and purple ones and what about my beloved faux snakeskin heels? I know this sounds silly but as I psychoanalyze myself I realize what I'm really afraid of leaving behind. These things make me feel sexy, and in control and are often the root of many compliments. Many of my students were constantly in awe of my shoes and I even had a few girls that bought bright colored heels just to show me because they remind them of me and my 'style.' What if I get there and Im' out of place? I've never been in a big city. I've never been on a bus or really without my car. Simple things like going to buy detergent and other necessities I'll pry need to purchase right away seems very overwhelming for me. And what if I get there and I don't have the right shoes? What if I'm not the right shoe?

Not much to say....

Here is a post from my mom.

We share the exact same sentiments.

That's all I have today.

Woah nerves

And the nerves are growing. I'm about 70 days out from taking a plane trip to start an adventure and I'm starting to get more petrified than the trees near the painted desert... (dad joke anyone?).

All I can think about is all the things that could go wrong and letting my own bothersome, worrisome side come out. I think its just the fear of the unknown. I felt like I had researched this program indepth but every time i turn around I'm learning new things that scare me.

I'm nervous about meeting all these new people and being awkward and shy.

I'm nervous about working out in front of people who are obviously more in shape than I.

I'm nervous about flying alone and getting lost in the airport or being the last one to campus and having missed everything.

I'm definitely number one nervous about not being good enough.

BUT

I am excited for routine that is more than getting up, work, going home.

I'm pumped for serving other people.

I'm thrilled about getting to meet all these new people and make new friends.

I'm jazzed about seeing part of the country I've never been (I hope).

And I'm hoping to gain a sense of self-accountability.

I wonder how everyone else feels.....

A few things at *home* i'll miss.

Sorry for my absence! I didn't realize for today that it had really been so long since I had sat down and immersed myself in the web of internet interests. I've been working a lot! Tonight I picked up my room. I tend to end up with clothes strewn everywhere. I'm somewhat of a hurricane in the mornings. Anyway...tonight I picked up a few things in my room and was looking around athinking about how far my room has come since I moved in at age 5 and how much I'm going to miss it when I head off to Cali. So I thought I'd share a few of my favorite things. My room is very eclectic and very discombobulated but its also full of treasures.

I got my outlet covers off etsy, they instantly made my favorite things list. Amanda at TackledandShackled was fabulous!

I absolutely love them. They ad so much character to my room. I for somereason am especially infatuated with the red coloring on the corner. I think it looks good against my brown walls.

I have a few other favorite things in my room that I thought I'd share too!

I was at the flea in Sioux City with my favorite my best friend Chris and our good friend Denise and I found this fella! This is probably my very most treasured find. I found a table cloth that matches the shade fabric to a t at another stall. I picked up both for only 40. A small perk was that it came with the lightbulb! woot! lol It waited patiently all last summer with my roommate denise and then got to come out and grace my desk with its beauty all year. I have a tendency to leave the lamp on so the shade needs a little regluing action but its still rather exquisite. At least to me!

If you weren't instantly drawn to the vase don't be discouraged neither was I. In fact I was the one convincing mom to throw it out. But it started calling my name...well screaming it. Something like this can't be quiet. It's been with me now for 2 years and has become one of my favorite unique peices. It has so much loud personality (like me I know). I had fake lillies in it while I was at school but the top of the picture is the ceiling so right now she sits empty but still vibrant and gorgeous.

Well I need to hit the hay but I have music excitments to share as well as a few etsy finds I'm dreaming about so stay tuned!

beginning to feel it

So just in the last week I realized I'm beginning to feel the impending move.

Today is 90 days til I leave. I haven't worked out in three weeks, I've been shoving my face full of EVERYTHING and I've been binge shopping...several times. I have no money, lots of extra pounds and an overwhelming feeling of unpreparedness. I know I have 90 days but I SUCK at being accountable to myself.

I have also begun to realize a few things I am going to miss by going away. For instance I WILL hitchhike across the country with Jeepers Creeper to get home for Christmas. Christmas is HUGE deal to my family and the most important time of year for me because of this. I refuse to miss it. I took otu a place in my budget to add plane ticket home for christmas. But there are some things that I can't be back for.......

1) PIcking out the tree - After thanksgiving every year my family of five+my aunts family of five+ my grandma go to the Howell Tree farm to pick out our Christmas tree. We spend a couple hours running around finding and fighting over the perfect tree. We have snowball fights (if there is snow) and play hide and seek with Jenni's girls. I won't be here for this next year. When I come home for christmas the "perfect" christmas tree will be here and decorated.

2) Decorating the tree - my family is of the tradition of exchaning christmas ornaments and then putting them on the tree together. My grandma gives them to the grandkids and we kids give one to mom. I won't be here for any of this. Who will put the ornaments on the tree? Will they be up when I get into town, or will they just be left off?

3) Making Lefsa -My family is very norweigian and we still make lefsa. For the past few years Emily, Mom, Grandma, Jenni and I have gotten together and made lefsa. There is dueling with the lefsa sticks and fighting with potatoes and lots of baking and teasing. This family lady time is always good for a barrel of laughs and lefsa!

4) Birthdays - these aren't really a big deal in of themselves BUT the idea of yet another year going by where I'm not necessarily around will pass. When I come home Audrey will surely be talking in full sentences and almost two! Emily will be spending her 15th year without me and my brother will be turning 13! Also, we're adding to the family. When these kids get adopted in I won't be here to meet them or bond with them. I'll have a family that doesn't know me at all.

I understand this is all rather depressing and sad; most assuredly these are the kinds of things my parents are thinking of when they dread/resent me leaving. But I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is what I want to do and this is where I'm being led to go. It's just that suddenly I'm thinking of all these things at once. This is bound to happen sooner or later I suppose. Whether I moved away intentionally or just happened to not be around it was bound to happen.

Growing up is LAME.